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9 Secrets to Build a Healthier Relationship

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Successful relationships are not magic, and they are not due to luck. At Live On Purpose TV you will find how to build better relationships with the YouTube video, “9 Secrets to Build a Healthy Relationship.” Dr. John Gottman has done some incredible research on marital relationships. His findings translate to almost any relationship we experience. He says that 70% of problems in relationship are unresolvable. How does that make you feel? Relieved or exasperated? All it really says is that we are different and can expect conflict because of our differences, but differences by themselves aren’t bad. They are what give us a reason to have a relationship. Differences are what make us interesting and relevant to each other. And, these differences were found in couples who reported themselves as happily married and those who reported not being happy in their marriage. The 9 Secrets to Build a Healthy Relationship will

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Surprise! Expect the Unexpected???

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Surprise! Expect the Unexpected We are told to “plan” our lives and then told to expect the unexpected. Huh? Might as well not even plan, right? WRONG! In my YouTube video, Coping With Chronic Illness and Disability, I outline principles we can use when life says, “Surprise!” to create an inspiring outcome. Everyone’s life Surprise will look different but these principles help us make our life inspiring despite of or even because of our Surprise! I love interviewing inspiring people on my podcast. Every story has a hard part that hits out of nowhere and though the individual may be stuck for a bit, I have found that every one of them decides at some point they are going to pick a position that works for them. Think about the things you CAN do despite your challenge, that opens up opportunity. Next, decide your attitude toward the challenge. Well, you may say, “It hurts,” “it

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Problems vs. Propportunities

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In my book, Pathological Positivity, I share a story Richard Paul Evans wrote about a traveler who visits a poor, run down kingdom. He gives the king and his subjects a magic spyglass that when they look through the glass, they do not see the dismal state of things, they see a beautiful scene of what could be. Houses in disrepair appear to be beautiful cottages. Dried up yards appear as lush gardens. Haggard and downtrodden peasants look energetic and happy. Using the images as a blueprint, the king and his subjects work toward a better future. Their circumstances don’t change magically, but they improve as they begin to see how to create a better future. Each of us can create a better future, yet we sometimes limit ourselves by seeing problems, not opportunities. Think of your problems as “propportunities.” Sometimes, just this gentle shift of thinking, puts us in

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Dr Paul Jenkins

Problem-Solving Life Hack

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Problems! We all have them. They vary by size, duration, intensity, and focus. You walk out to your car. It’s tilting a little funny and you notice that one of the rear tires is flat. You think, “Oh, great! I don’t need this today.” Your mind automatically goes to how much it is going to cost to replace the tire. Not only that, you will probably have to replace the other rear tire and maybe you should just do all four. Where will you get the money since you just had to replace your refrigerator? The problem of a deflated tire has now ballooned into financial crisis. You bend down for a closer look at the tire. Someone pulled a prank by letting the air out. All you have to do is pump it up and you are on your way again. You feel a little miffed, a little embarrassed,

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Dr. Paul Jenkins

Your New Year’s Stretch

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We usually make resolutions because we want to change something in our lives, we want to improve. We believe that by making this change, our lives will be richer and we will be happier. So, why doesn’t everyone make resolutions? Changing means messing with our auto-pilot and that takes us out of our comfort zone. Yet, if we want to attain our goals, we must feel uncomfortable for a while, the same way when we want to become stronger and begin exercising, our muscles are sore for a time. If we want growth, we need to stretch and reach beyond our normal limits. In my recent YouTube Video, “Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone,” I give you 12 hacks to stretch yourself. As you implement these ideas and discover the world does not end, you become more confident and willing to try new things. This is the mindset that will

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If Only I had Spent More Time at the Office

Work and Life Balance

By | M-Power | 2 Comments

This might be a misnomer – can we ever really balance it? Maybe the goal here is to be clear about priorities. Do you want to have everything balanced, or do you want to spend most of your time where it matters most at the right times? One way to prioritize your time, efforts, and resources is to focus on five key relationships. Here’s how it stacks up: Your Creator – I’m not your spiritual leader, but I acknowledge here that we all have to come to terms with our source. Your Self – Most people forget that this is actually a relationship, and thereby neglect one of the most important ones. Your Family – And within family there is a lineup as well: Spouse Children Extended Other People – Including clients, coworkers, customers, starving children in Africa. Things – Including money and property In my experience, keeping these key

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BELLS for Holiday Stress

BELLS for Holiday Stress

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Why do the holidays become stressful? Often the answer to that question is that we get tied up in all of the “to do”s and “by when”s that are implied in getting everything done. The holidays are for people, not the other way around. Let’s look at an acronym that can help us better handle holiday stress: B – Breathe – Take a moment to get perspective on what the holidays are all about. In addition to that, actually focusing for a moment on your breathing can help to move your brain from the protective fight or flight response into a more calm mode of functioning. E – Eating and Exercise – Your brain is part of your body. In fact it is the biggest energy hog of any organ in your system. Sometimes during the holidays we neglect the important physical care of our brain and body. Use moderation in eating

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The Influence Quadrant

The Influence Quadrant

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This has been a very popular topic for my recent trainings and keynotes, and has a profound implication for leadership. Think about your own thinking for a moment and notice that whenever you are in a conversation, communication, or interaction with another person, your focus is somewhere. Paying attention to feelings, in the first column my focus is on How I Feel, and in the second column my focus is on How You Feel. Now who is it about? In the top row, my focus is About Me. In the bottom row my focus is About You. We overlay these two dimensions to form a quadrant model. With both dimensions combined, we see that our focus could be in one of these four areas. In the upper left my focus is on how I feel about myself. In the upper right my focus is on how you feel about me.

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Improve Marriage

Upgrade Your Relationship

By | M-Power | 2 Comments

A couple in my office recently heard me say, “You need a new marriage.” She looked at me with surprise in her face, they were paying me to help them save their marriage, not to tell them they need a new one. “Keep your spouse, ” I responded, “and get a new marriage.” Better is always different – by definition. That isn’t always true the other way around, and that’s why different can seem scary. If we truly want an upgrade, it depends on our willingness to change. The good news is… You can upgrade your relationship today, right now, without materially changing anything about your spouse or situation. Try this: Find gratitude in where you are right now without changing anything. Notice the good and focus on it. This doesn’t make the bad go away, what it does is changes your position. Through gratitude for what it is, you

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Grateful for Abundance

Grateful For Abundance

By | M-Power | 2 Comments

“Buy now while supplies last! Get while the getting is good. All good things must come to an end.” There is never enough. Never enough good deals. Never enough stuff in our closet or garage. Never enough time, money, love, attention. Sometimes we operate in a constant perception of scarcity. From a position of scarcity, not only can we never have enough, we can never do enough, or be enough. This scarcity focus starts first thing in the morning with a depressed groan, “I never get enough sleep.” “I don’t have the energy to do this.” “I don’t have time.” In scarcity mode we constantly feel overwhelmed and dissatisfied. We always need more. Scarcity perception causes us to grab, hoard, cling to, all we can. We are there in force on Black Friday (which is now creeping in on Thursday). We shop in a feeding frenzy, climbing over and pushing

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