While working on my book, I get a craving for the smell and taste of freshly baked bread. I still have my mom’s recipe and a few hours on my hands so I head into the kitchen. Part way through the process, I get waylaid by my daughter tempting me to play a game with her. The bread raises twice as much as I intend and is all over the oven by the time I realize the problem. Irreversible error. Houston, we've got a problem. I bake it anyway. At least we get to enjoy the smell. My wife attempts to console me with praise for my feeble effort. As the bread, if you can even call it that, comes out of the oven, I feel a compounded let-down. It looks worse than I expected. Vicki helps clean up the mess. It smells great. We pick at the ugly twisted but surprisingly…
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Following the devastating events at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown Connecticut, a number of friends, clients, even strangers, approach me wondering how to deal with this tragedy. The conversations focus initially on the Sandy Hook tragedy itself, then generally expand to address the question of how to deal with tragedy and trauma in general. My initial observation – and suggestion – is that until we know individually what to do, we simply pay attention not just to the tragedy, but the amazing way humans intuitively respond to such difficult things – and take heart from what we observe. Yes, it was a dark day in Newtown, as it was in Columbine, as it was on 9-11. Yet within those days of darkness we also see something else. Light. Light following immediately on the heels of the darkness. Light rushing in from all over the world to dispel the overwhelming darkness.…
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When you turn on a flashlight, you see a little spot of light projected wherever you point the device. Have you ever seen a flashdark? This is a device that projects a little spot of dark wherever you point it. Not! Similarly, what happens when you open a dark closet in a brightly lit room? The darkness rushes out and fills the room? No. The light rushes in to displace the darkness. It always goes that direction. Light always has the power to displace darkness. Darkness happens. Boston, Sandy Hook, 9-11... As our hearts and prayers go out to those affected by darkness, we also see emerging from these tragedies inspiring stories of love, caring, and human goodness. There will always be those who bring dark. Those who bring light win. There is no such thing as a flashdark. Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear…
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Is there a program or process that propels us predictably to unprecedented personal power, productivity, and profit? Yes. Pathological Positivity. Our planet is plagued with a pandemic of poisonous pessimism. The popular perception of painful or perturbing problems is pathogenically paralyzing. Pathological Positivity programs and positions us to perceive positive possibilities in problems. It inspires and provokes people to apply positive principles and practices even in paralyzing predicaments. Pathological Positivity isn’t just a program or philosophy, it is a personal preference. It is a programmed proclivity to purposefully opt for the positive from a plethora of possible perceptions. This promotes powerful productivity and profit. Pandemic, pestilent and pernicious pessimism is pummeled into powder as professionals apply and promote pathologically positive paradigms. The payoff is phenomenal prosperity. What lies behind us, and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson Image courtesy of twobee/FreeDigitalPhotos.net about…
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Questions are power tools of change. Power tools work best when plugged in and turned on. Sometimes the questions we ask are not really questions. My friend and creative editor, Tom Cantrell, called me on this recently when he asked, "Was that a question, or a statement disguised as a question?" Here's a common example: "How can I be happy with all of this going on?" That's not a bad question, if it is used as a question. Normally a question like this really means, "I can't be happy with all of this going on" - it is a statement disguised as a question. Another example is in my last message - "What could possibly be good about this?" Another great question, if you stay plugged in to the question. "Nothing could possibly be good about this" is the statement that sometimes gets into that question's disguise. Plug in the power - turn it back into a question and get…
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The motivational master, Earl Nightingale promoted Pathological Positivity when he suggested that we learn to habitually respond to even devastating circumstances by saying “that’s good” – then engage our marvelous minds to discover or create what’s good about it. As a psychologist, I see the power in this strategy. Our mind will dutifully fulfill our commands and requests. If we ask our mind to find out what is bad about something we can certainly find supportive evidence. If, on the other hand, we ask our minds to find out what is good about something, our minds will get to work on that. "What could possibly be good about this!?" Well, that's not a bad question - get busy finding a legitimate answer instead of assuming that there couldn't be one. life loans It's our attitude in life that determines life's attitude toward us. ~ Earl Nightingale
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Sometimes I am accused of being pathologically positive, like Pollyanna from the 1960 Disney movie. Is this a compliment or a criticism? I wasn't sure so I rented the movie. I remember as a child liking the movie. It seems that when I got older, I joined in with the other popular opinions that it was just corny and, well, pollyannaish. Watching it this time, I really paid attention to what Pollyanna was doing in light of my positive psychology practice. Here is a kid who was orphaned at an age when she could understand what was going on. Unquestionably a huge and painful adversity. Her father had been a minister, and taught her a game that she liked to play whenever something difficult or unpleasant was happening - the glad game. The game is that you intentionally look for something to be glad about related to your situation. It is…
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December 26, 2006 was the date. An earthquake beneath the Indian Ocean caused a shift in the earth's plates that led to a displacement of the sea itself. The waters withdrew from the shore in preparation for an enormous tsunami to follow. Those who saw and recognized the signs immediately began to retreat for higher ground - they knew what was coming. There are plenty of signs around indicating that our world is in danger - everything from economic indicators to crime rates. There is ample reason to believe that we need to head for higher ground. Identify the higher ground in your life and invite others along. Those who say it can’t be done are usually interrupted by others doing it. ~ James Arthur Baldwin
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Your amazing mind has the ability to imagine almost anything. Can you imagine right now the smell of oranges? Can you imagine a peaceful place where you feel safe and tranquil? Can you imagine yourself receiving a prestigious award? Not too hard right? Can you also imagine intense pain, rejection from others, or losing something important to you? Also not too hard. What you imagine is up to you. The energy that comes with whatever you imagine fills your life with feelings and results. My friend Woody Woodward says it this way, "What you focus on you feel, what you think about comes about." Notice the difference and then be very very selective about what you imagine. cash loans in philadelphia Worry is a misuse of imagination. - Dan Zadra
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Walt Disney was one of the most imaginative and visionary creators of our time. After the enormous success of Disneyland in California, Walt envisioned another park on the East Coast to compliment the one in California. Walt Disney passed away from lung cancer in 1966, almost 6 years prior to the opening of Walt Disney World in 1971. When Walt Disney World finally opened, a reporter covering the event commented to Walt's brother, Roy, "It's too bad Walt did not live to see this." Roy’s reply was poignant and clear, "Walt saw it first. That’s why we are seeing it now." All too often we stop short of our dreams because we just don't see how it could happen. Sometimes we will say, "I'll believe it when I see it." A powerful truth known to all creators is that this statement is just backwards - you will see it when…
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