Skip to main content
Tag

live on purpose

Jun 08

Information vs. Transformation

By M-Power
In thinking about the topic for today’s email, I googled positivity and came up with 52,300,000 responses.  That is a lot of information. If you had the time to go through and read all the articles and posts, would it make you more positive? Not likely. We can read books about cooking, eat a lot of food, but does that make you a chef?  Not likely. We have to take that information and put it into action before we get the transformation.  Transformation is something that happens after gaining information.  It is a process, not an event. No one and done here. It takes practice and repetition.  It takes messing up and learning where we went wrong.  It takes building muscle memory to create true transformation. We want transformation. That is why we read books, listen to podcasts and pay money for seminars and courses. We want to be better.…
Read More
May 28

Is Being Grateful Enough?

By M-Power
I am a big believer in being grateful.  Gratitude can help us to feel content. Gratitude can cause a perception shift that leads to growth. Gratitude can help us to look outside ourselves. Gratitude can create connection. We celebrate Memorial Day this weekend and I was thinking about the reason we have this holiday. It started after the Civil War when brother fought against brother and when the death toll was extremely high. National cemeteries were created to bury the dead. And then family and friends flocked to those cemeteries to decorate the graves of their loved ones and mourn their loss. Memorial Day is a time to look back and be grateful for those who have come before and for their sacrifice serving in the military. It led me to think, is being grateful enough? What if those who served had thought, “I am grateful, I don’t need to…
Read More
May 26

Make a Fist, Now Catch

By M-Power, Uncategorized
Make a tight fist and don’t open your hand. Now catch what I throw to you. It is a little hard to catch something when your hand is tightly fisted.  I use this example when talking to clients who are having a hard time letting go of something.  When they are having a hard time moving past an event or relationship. As long as they continue holding onto the person or event, they can’t receive what may be tossed their way. They can’t grasp onto a new perspective, a new relationship, a new possibility. All they have is a closed fist and feel defeated. I get why they don’t open their fist. It may be for comfort. Even though they say they don’t like what they are wrapping their fingers around, they have been that way for a long time. They don’t know what having an open hand would feel…
Read More
May 20

How Can I Stop Trying To Make Everyone Happy?

By M-Power
This is a topic that I have dealt with and in my 30 year psychology practice, I have had more than one person in my office with the same problem. They are trying to make everyone in their life happy and they are miserable because they feel like they are failing. When they perceive that someone is not happy whom they have taken responsibility for, well, they become miserable.  You see, the one person that you have control over - you - is now subject to any number of other people and how you perceive their happiness. Not that you can really tell. Do you see how impossible this is?  You - can’t - make - everyone - happy! Just not possible. We can do things that please other people, but we are not responsible for their emotional health and happiness. You are responsible for your emotional health, and they…
Read More
May 17

Default to Positivity

By M-Power
If your default is to negativity, you can learn to be more positive! My friend Devan Thorpe asked me on LinkedIn if our optimism setpoint is immovable or can we learn to be more positive? Unless you missed it, I am a Positive Psychologist. I answered that through research and clinical experience many aspects of positivity are trainable. It is true that there are some things programmed into our DNA. Some people default to positivity and others default to negativity.  Through repeated practice we can actually change our baseline of optimism, positivity and happiness.  It takes practice! Like any other skill. I compare it to learning a new language.  Whatever language we were programmed to use from birth, that language “feels” like it is “right” for us.  There are other options for language and it is only through making a clear choice and then a determined approach to practicing that…
Read More
May 04

We Aren’t There Yet

By M-Power
Everything will be okay in the end. If things aren’t okay, it isn’t the end. Keep going. I was reminded of this saying when reading a hopeful study that said 10% of people with major depression were thriving 10 years later.  Thriving, not just living. Many people think that once depressed, always depressed. That isn’t the case. You can thrive. There is hope.  Sometimes your journey is long, we don’t know how long we will be up against this particular challenge. Are we in Act 1, Act 2, the intermission, or is it the final scene?  We just don’t know.  Even if you don’t suffer from depression, there are many ways the axiom can help us in our lives. You have a teenager who is putting you through the wringer. Well, if things aren’t okay, then you aren’t done yet.  You have a work situation that is making it difficult…
Read More
May 01

I Can Do Better

By M-Power
The other day I was doing a task around the house and I took a shortcut.  It wasn’t really so much a shortcut as just being sloppy. My mind was on the next task. I stopped and said out loud, “You can do better.”  Now no one was around to see and who knows if anyone would have noticed the sloppiness, but I knew that I was capable of doing better. I took an extra 5 seconds and did the task right.  I know it’s not a big deal, but I tend to think that if we take the time to do small things right, we are more likely to get the big things in life right. We may go the extra mile in serving our clients, being present in our families and being honest in all we do.  This is not about cleaning the house. It is hopefully about…
Read More
Apr 28

Remember the Comma, Pause

By M-Power
I was reminded the other day about commas. We use them when writing to create a space, a pause.  How often though do we pause? We speed read through without paying any attention to the comma. Yet, a comma can make a powerful difference.  “Let’s eat grandma,” or “Let’s eat, grandma.” Most of you have seen this, but there is a HUGE difference in the meaning. This got me to thinking of how we can use commas in our life.  We can insert commas to create a space. I know, in our society and hectic schedules we just want to get to the next thing. We run and run and run and then we aren’t present for any of our tasks. How sad, especially if our tasks involve people. What if you created a pause? To take a breath. To look someone in the eye. To shift your body. To…
Read More
Apr 22

How To Raise Your Emotional Quotient

By M-Power
No matter the reason someone comes into my office, what issue they are getting stuck with, we almost always have to do some work with what we control and what we don’t.  It can be difficult or freeing when someone realizes that they don’t have control over something they have been trying to control. It is good news when we identify something we CAN control and begin to take steps to gain the skills to get us unstuck. Your emotional quotient, your emotional intelligence is something that we can improve over time, with the right skills. Getting hired, being promoted or better emotional health are all possible results of increasing your emotional intelligence. When we create deeper connections with others, new possibilities open up. The first thing you can do is take a breath. Don’t jump to conclusions. Take the initial thought that comes into your head and form it…
Read More

Terms and Conditions - Privacy Policy