People come to see me for a variety of reasons. They are having trouble in their marriage, their family, work, and some for personal development.
Their circumstances are very individualized, but often there is one thing that is common.
There is a relationship that is in trouble or causing pain.
It could be a spouse, partner, child, parent, relative, friend, boss, co-worker.
You get the idea. Even if the reason stated is personal development, at the core of the desire for the development/change is an experience with someone.
I have noticed that we get in trouble in relationships when we look at the other person as an object.
Something to be controlled.
Something standing in the way of what we want.
Something that is not behaving the way we think it should.
Do you get a sense of what I mean?
We are not valuing the other person as something that matters.
Something that has worth on it’s own.
Something that is autonomous from us.
Something that has their own journey.
That something is a SOMEONE.
-just like us.
We have feelings, desires, goals, and aspirations.
So do they.
We have experienced hurts, disappointments, and rejection.
So have they.
Just realizing this doesn’t take away the conflict, the disagreement, but it can cause a shift.
It can cause us to show up differently.
To seek to understand the individual and how it feels to be in their skin.
What are their thoughts, their fears, their feelings, their goals?
When we know the answer to those questions, then we can find some commonality and work together instead of fighting.
It is possible to improve our relationships and improve our outcomes.
If you need help, CLICK HERE to find a video that will help you.
I have some ideas for you.