I often say that, “kids don’t keep,” or “babies don’t keep,” meaning that they are constantly changing and growing. Becoming something else than what they were six months ago. I was reminded of this in my interview with Shane Torres that appeared last week on the Podcast, Live On Purpose Radio. Shane lost everything that he had defined as making himself successful. It was gone, the house, the cars, etc. He learned that those things are not what made him successful, they weren’t even the really important things in life. The important things were his family, and his relationships. I also recently had a few comments in YouTube about parents who do not see eye to eye on how to handle their children and a wedge starting to form between them. It saddens me to hear this because one thing parents need to understand is that they are supposed to…
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break the bondage of the past and create a live you can live on purpose
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It’s National Eat Your Vegetables Day We all know we should eat our vegetables, among other things. Yet, how many times do we grab for the brownie and skip the vegetables? There are other things we know we should do - but we don’t. Why not? The answers vary. Perhaps fear, perfectionist tendency, comparing ourselves to others, stuck in a routine or the most common reason, the benefits can’t be seen for a long time. How can we get ourselves to do something that will benefit us? I teach a model called easy/hard, hard/easy. Basically, we default to easy. Whatever will cause us less friction or pain, we default to. Who wants to choose pain when you can have pleasure? Yet, we know that choosing easy now can lead to harder things down the road. And, choosing harder things now can lead to easier things down the road. Easy -…
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I am a big believer in being grateful. Gratitude can help us to feel content. Gratitude can cause a perception shift that leads to growth. Gratitude can help us to look outside ourselves. Gratitude can create connection. We celebrate Memorial Day this weekend and I was thinking about the reason we have this holiday. It started after the Civil War when brother fought against brother and when the death toll was extremely high. National cemeteries were created to bury the dead. And then family and friends flocked to those cemeteries to decorate the graves of their loved ones and mourn their loss. Memorial Day is a time to look back and be grateful for those who have come before and for their sacrifice serving in the military. It led me to think, is being grateful enough? What if those who served had thought, “I am grateful, I don’t need to…
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As a psychologist, I talk to people who are struggling with different things. One of the saddest things I have had to deal with is the aftermath of someone dying due to suicide. Last week this hit close to home with people I know and recently a YouTube Comment made me think that it might be time we address this important issue again. The viewer said her family was doing their best to have a Merry Christmas and continue on after the death of her father-in-law due to suicide. She said it was a surprise and she always thought of her father-in-law as a happy person. The aftermath of suicide leaves us with so many feelings, sadness, anger, and failure are among some of them. I told my viewer that I was glad her family was looking to the future and trying to have a Merry Christmas. Whether she knew…
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You will either run your mind or your mind will run you. If you have to choose between those two, which one do you want? To run your own mind, you have to know a little bit about how it operates. Metacognition is a made-up word, in psychology all it means is thinking about thinking. I want you to notice that you can do this. Because as you think about your own thinking, we create a little space, and in that space is where choice exists. This will be really important in our strategy to stop overthinking everything and experience some peace. Metacognition, thinking about thinking, turn that on for a moment and I'm going to walk you through a little exercise. I got this idea from a book that I've been reading called, "The Power Of Now," by Eckhart Tolle. It's an amazing, profound book that helps us to…
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