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May 17

Default to Positivity

By M-Power
If your default is to negativity, you can learn to be more positive! My friend Devan Thorpe asked me on LinkedIn if our optimism setpoint is immovable or can we learn to be more positive? Unless you missed it, I am a Positive Psychologist. I answered that through research and clinical experience many aspects of positivity are trainable. It is true that there are some things programmed into our DNA. Some people default to positivity and others default to negativity.  Through repeated practice we can actually change our baseline of optimism, positivity and happiness.  It takes practice! Like any other skill. I compare it to learning a new language.  Whatever language we were programmed to use from birth, that language “feels” like it is “right” for us.  There are other options for language and it is only through making a clear choice and then a determined approach to practicing that…
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May 04

We Aren’t There Yet

By M-Power
Everything will be okay in the end. If things aren’t okay, it isn’t the end. Keep going. I was reminded of this saying when reading a hopeful study that said 10% of people with major depression were thriving 10 years later.  Thriving, not just living. Many people think that once depressed, always depressed. That isn’t the case. You can thrive. There is hope.  Sometimes your journey is long, we don’t know how long we will be up against this particular challenge. Are we in Act 1, Act 2, the intermission, or is it the final scene?  We just don’t know.  Even if you don’t suffer from depression, there are many ways the axiom can help us in our lives. You have a teenager who is putting you through the wringer. Well, if things aren’t okay, then you aren’t done yet.  You have a work situation that is making it difficult…
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May 01

I Can Do Better

By M-Power
The other day I was doing a task around the house and I took a shortcut.  It wasn’t really so much a shortcut as just being sloppy. My mind was on the next task. I stopped and said out loud, “You can do better.”  Now no one was around to see and who knows if anyone would have noticed the sloppiness, but I knew that I was capable of doing better. I took an extra 5 seconds and did the task right.  I know it’s not a big deal, but I tend to think that if we take the time to do small things right, we are more likely to get the big things in life right. We may go the extra mile in serving our clients, being present in our families and being honest in all we do.  This is not about cleaning the house. It is hopefully about…
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Apr 28

Remember the Comma, Pause

By M-Power
I was reminded the other day about commas. We use them when writing to create a space, a pause.  How often though do we pause? We speed read through without paying any attention to the comma. Yet, a comma can make a powerful difference.  “Let’s eat grandma,” or “Let’s eat, grandma.” Most of you have seen this, but there is a HUGE difference in the meaning. This got me to thinking of how we can use commas in our life.  We can insert commas to create a space. I know, in our society and hectic schedules we just want to get to the next thing. We run and run and run and then we aren’t present for any of our tasks. How sad, especially if our tasks involve people. What if you created a pause? To take a breath. To look someone in the eye. To shift your body. To…
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Apr 22

How To Raise Your Emotional Quotient

By M-Power
No matter the reason someone comes into my office, what issue they are getting stuck with, we almost always have to do some work with what we control and what we don’t.  It can be difficult or freeing when someone realizes that they don’t have control over something they have been trying to control. It is good news when we identify something we CAN control and begin to take steps to gain the skills to get us unstuck. Your emotional quotient, your emotional intelligence is something that we can improve over time, with the right skills. Getting hired, being promoted or better emotional health are all possible results of increasing your emotional intelligence. When we create deeper connections with others, new possibilities open up. The first thing you can do is take a breath. Don’t jump to conclusions. Take the initial thought that comes into your head and form it…
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Apr 20

Why EQ is Just As Important as IQ

By M-Power
You may know what your IQ is, but do you know what your EQ is? Your IQ is determined by a test that measures your ability to solve problems and reason.  Emotional intelligence is determined by your ability to read others in social situations, empathize, decrease conflict, communicate and overcome obstacles. The importance of your IQ is something that parents and society look at to predict if a person will become successful in school and life. While those with a high IQ are more likely to be successful in school, earn more, and be healthy, your EQ can be as much of a determinant. Some companies are now giving EQ tests to their employees. An insurance company figured out that those with high EQ’s were more successful in sales.  Why? Because emotionally intelligent people are able to build a connection with those they encounter. They build trust through listening to…
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Apr 16

Be A Dorothy

By M-Power
Some people are gift givers. They just seem to have a knack for picking out the right gift for a person and love to see the receiver’s reaction when they open it up. Giving gifts is more important to them than receiving gifts. Over the last year as reports have come out about the pandemic and things have changed, then changed again, and changed again, and again, I have wished I could give some who are having a hard time a gift.  The gift of courage.  Courage to face the future with hope and move forward, even though it seems there are roadblocks along the way. Courage to be more positive and grateful when life isn’t turning out the way we want it to be. Courage to go ahead and take the next step in their journey at work or in love. Courage to dream big and make plans for…
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Apr 12

Life Is A Game

By M-Power
This is a chapter in my book, Pathological Positivity. We start out as little kids and there are lots of games for us to play. Preschoolers often learn very important things like the ABC’s, counting, and motor skills through games.  Then we get older and there are less games and more lessons. What happened to the fun? The things that we were learning, capturing, mastering were smaller, more attainable. Somewhere in life we saw the horizon and imagined that would be a good point to reach. So we run, and run, and run without getting to the end. The problem is not dreaming an impossible dream, the problem is thinking we can reach the impossible end, (or we create multiple endings). So we run, and run, and run without getting to the end. The problem is the horizon is not a place, it is not attainable. So we run, and…
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Apr 08
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You Deserve a Break Today

By M-Power
Spring Break is really popular at our house since my wife works in a school setting.  Spring Break is set up to give students an opportunity to take a break from their studies so they can finish the year strong. (I see how it also benefits teachers and staff members.) Many in our society think a good work ethic is putting in long hours and being available to your job 24/7.  This is a good way to make you less productive and less valuable to your employer. Studies have shown that those who step away from work on a regular basis and spend time with family, friends or doing different activities (not sitting in front of a computer or TV), come back to work re-charged, enthusiastic, and with renewed creative energy. Work is not the only one that benefits from your break, when done with family and friends, it can…
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