Insights & Strategies for a Purposeful Life

I recently interviewed David Horsager about his new book, Trusted Leader: 8 Pillars That Drive Results. (You can listen to that HERE.) In part of the interview we talked about communication and trust.  Often, when people say they want more communication, they aren’t really asking for more interaction or conversation.

Have you ever heard me say that we can always imagine something better than what we have and we can imagine something worse. I use this model as I teach about discontent and how to use it to our advantage, not to compare ourselves with others. It is not helpful

Have you said this before? Has this been said to you?  The phrase is not really helpful itself, but the message could be useful for you. First of all, when someone says this, they are probably not meaning to be uncompassionate. Don’t take it personally. (You don’t need to pile

I don’t know if you have ever written something and looked back at it later and thought, “What was I thinking?” or “Wow, that is still relevant today.”  I did this recently with this excerpt from my book, Pathological Positivity. Remember, I wrote this in 2014 and we know the

Both are an absolute. Which do you choose to believe? Sometimes all it takes is a subtle shift, or in this case, punctuation, for what was closed to open.  Notice that I’m Possible doesn’t mean that you have arrived at your destination. It merely opens up the destination as something

Are you the person that people feel comfortable dumping their problems on?  Dumpers aren’t really looking for solutions to their problems, they just want sympathy and to restate the wrongs being done to them.  And then pretty soon they want to do it again. Nothing changes because responsibility is not

Do you ever get the feeling that some people are living for future happiness? For a time when there will be no problems and then they can be happy? They are waiting to be happy. That just makes me sad. I will be happy when I find someone and marry.

During the course of your day, who do you talk to the most? Your spouse? Your kids? Your boss? Your co-worker? Nope, the answer is YOU. A study suggests that we have around 6,200 thoughts per day. (I need a quick geek moment. OUR BRAINS ARE AMAZING!) OK, of those

Recently my daughter, Lyndi, published an article called, Seeing People Deeply: How to Be More Present in Your Relationships. She gave three really good ideas on how to do this and I wanted to share them with you. You can read the full article HERE. She starts the article talking

You know the type. The person who constantly has drama in their life.  They can’t SEEM to get away from it. Things are always happening and it is never their fault. Some people are just wired to feel things more than others, the highs and the lows. They are more

People would rather administer a shock to themselves than spend time alone with their thoughts.  Wait. What??? Those are the findings of a study by Timothy Wilson, University of Virginia, professor of psychology. The people were given a set number of minutes, between 6 and 15, and some were told

In coaching we often hear people say, “Just tell me what to do.”  As much as we think we want someone else to just tell us what to do, a good therapist or coach is not going to tell you what to do.  They will help you explore your options,

Some people are surprised when they find out that I use coaches. I am a coach, and at different times in my career, I have sought out coaches and paid them a lot of money to coach me. To some this seems weird, if you are a coach, then why

Which is right for you? Maybe all three. We are used to making New Year’s Resolutions and for the majority of people, letting them dwindle away like the last piece of confetti falling at midnight. Now, we don’t INTEND to have that happen, but it does.  If you haven’t been

Prevent opening mouth and inserting foot with these 5 questions Problems are universal. They might look different, but we all have them. When those problems are shared, well,  that’s when it happens.  We give advice.  It is so plain to see (from our perspective), and it is so clear what

As a psychologist, I talk to people who are struggling with different things. One of the saddest things I have had to deal with is the aftermath of someone dying due to suicide. Last week this hit close to home with people I know and recently a YouTube Comment made

A reader of my blog recently responded to an article I had written about conducting the Great Christmas Experience Experiment. The post talked about how we can make the holidays in 2020 memorable when so many of our normal activities have been canceled.  The reader asked, what about those of

In a Tough Year, There Might Be More Reason to Celebrate This Holiday Than You Know Event after event has been cancelled in 2020 and we could use a reason to celebrate.  How about Festivus?  Why not? It’s as good as any other reason.  If you aren’t familiar with Festivus,

In year’s past, many people at this time of year would begin complaining about the stress of the holidays. There are Christmas parties to plan and attend. And, what am I going to wear, add shopping at the mall for new clothes. There are cookies to bake for the neighborhood

Hey, I forgot to mention in our last email about family councils that you can do this with whoever is living with you. It could be your spouse and children, or just your children. It could be just you. It could be your roommate. This is about building the relationships

How did your family conversations go?  Did you try any of the “would you rather questions?” Now that we have everyone talking, I want to introduce you to something you may be aware of, Family Councils.  This is a time where you come together at a regular time and discuss

So, if you live in America, you still don’t know who will be our next president. What are you going to do about it? That’s right, nothing. Let’s talk about something we can do something about.  In November we talk a lot about things we are grateful for and many

People come to me and say, Dr. Paul, I want to be a better person, a better mom.  I want to develop better relationships or people skills.  I want to be happier or more positive.  And I ask them, so that…?  The things they want to accomplish are all good,

Welcome Back!  How did it go? Did you try the experiment? Did you step back from seeing all the annoying qualities of your coworker and observe them? Did you try to choose to be amused by their antics?  It can take some practice, but I hope you tried it out.