Welcome Back!
How did it go? Did you try the experiment? Did you step back from seeing all the annoying qualities of your coworker and observe them? Did you try to choose to be amused by their antics?
It can take some practice, but I hope you tried it out. We are going to get into two other ideas that can help you to get along with a cranky or annoying coworker.
Change Your Focus
My friend says, “What you focus on, you feel.”
What is your focus with this person? How are you seeing them? What are you looking for?
Changing your focus might be that you simply find the funny.
As a professional speaker, I am on the lookout for funny stuff. It becomes good content for comedy.
How about looking for their superpower.
I know, their superpower is to annoy you. Maybe they have another one. Your focus is to try to find their superpower. Dig deep, what are they really good at?
This will create empathy with the other person. You have shifted to looking for their annoying qualities and you are now looking for where they excel.
Can you feel the energy change?
Have you thought that most people show up with annoying behavior because they are in pain.
You may do this also when you are in significant pain. Find the pain.
Your sensitivity, your kindness, your compassion will all increase as you change your focus.
Lastly, Change Your Tactics.
This has to do with your behavior.
How are you showing up? Add this to the experiment.
What if you were to look at the other person and smile at them? 5 times a day?
They may wonder what you are up to.
That’s o.k.
Just see what that changes in your interaction with them. See how it changes in how you show up.
Another change in tactics is to say yes. These three little letters, Y – E – S, have magical power. You can use it even if you don’t agree. Yes might mean, “I’m listening.” Yes might be a greeting. Lead with yes.
Yes, I am listening to you.
Yes, I’m here.
Yes, I want to help.
We can’t control other people, we control ourselves. When we decide to change our goal, change our focus and change our tactics with difficult people, whether they be at work, at home, or in the community, we can be less annoyed.
Let me know how it goes. You can leave comments below.
Dr. Paul