In coaching we often hear people say, “Just tell me what to do.” 

As much as we think we want someone else to just tell us what to do, a good therapist or coach is not going to tell you what to do. 

They will help you explore your options, and may suggest an option or two you may not have thought about.

And as I always say, “It’s not an option until you see it as an option.”

I remember a client who was faced with a quandary. What should he do? We talked about different choices and the possible outcomes and then he said, “I guess I have to do this.” Looking to me for confirmation, I said, “Or not.” 

“What do you mean, or not?” 

“You can keep doing nothing and the situation will certainly not get better, you said yourself it will probably get worse. The decision is yours.”

If the coach has experience and training, why don’t they tell people what to do?

The coach is not the one that will be experiencing the consequences of the decision. 

And who likes to be told what to do? Often it can have the opposite effect and the person being told what to do will rebel. Or, they will do what the coach said and then if they don’t get their desired outcome, they will see the coach as being responsible.

Ultimately, part of being an adult is being able to make choices (and own the consequences).

Ready to find out what your choices are and own the consequences? You may be ready for a life-changing breakthrough. Schedule a call at

Dr. Paul