That's a thought. If you have listened to me long enough, you have probably heard me say this. How we think changes how we act. Either we show up and go for it, or we don't. Whatever you choose to do or not do was preceded by a thought. Either, "I am going to give this a try," or "I can't do that." So, the next time you find yourself spouting limiting thoughts, tell yourself, "That's a thought." That really is all it is. A thought. And thoughts can change. Tell yourself something different. "If I do _______, then I will be able to do _________." "How can I get to ___________?" Challenge your thoughts and see just how creative you can be. DrPaul
Read More
I am all about self-improvement. Any time I come across a tool or way of thinking that challenges me, I am intrigued. But, don’t call me a self-improvement junkie. Self-improvement junkies indulge in self-help without any action. They read all the latest books, listen to podcasts, watch videos, and attend seminars, but never apply the ideas to their lives. They are seeking validation, but avoiding personal responsibility. They jump from one thing to another and never stick with anything long enough to realize improvements. Self-improvement can help you to develop healthy habits, understand yourself and others, and open up possibilities, but only if you have a purpose and a realistic action plan. Self-improvement should be viewed as a journey, not a destination. Your self-improvement plan should be based on principles to have lasting effects. If it is based on gimmicks and fads, you will see your results fade away just…
Read More
I’m sure you have heard the analogy of the traveler who picks up stones and puts them in their backpack until they are weighed down and can’t go on. The stones are baggage that the traveler needs to free themselves from so they can continue on their journey. I was reminded of this with a saying I came across. It says, “Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet, and use them as stepping stones to rise above them.” Ryan Ferreras I often get comments from YouTube viewers that they have messed up and ruined their lives. They aren’t even trying to go on, they have given up. If only they could take the stones and start stepping on them. It's like I always say, "It isn't a choice until you see it as a choice." It isn’t about tossing the stones aside but putting…
Read More
In America we are celebrating the Superbowl and Valentine's Day this week. This got me thinking about an episode of Live On Purpose Radio I did in October 2022. I talked about a book called The Law of Love, written by a three-time Superbowl Champ, Steve Young. This book resonated with me because Steve asserts that love is not a feeling, it is a principle. And I love principles. Feelings change - principles endure. Steve also says, "The law of love is undefeated." Every athlete has experienced a loss, but love is undefeated. I like those odds. Steve says there are two tracks to love. One is a preparatory track. On this track what you put in, you get out. I call this the Law of the Harvest. When we plant tomatoes, we get tomatoes. When we give love to others, we normally get love back. The problem is, we…
Read More
Is your glass half empty or half full? What if I told you that no matter how much liquid is in your glass, it is always full? In fact, it is overflowing. I touch on this in my book, Pathological Positivity. Your glass is full, all the time. The part that is not liquid is air. How important is air? To everyone I know, it is vital. We are immersed in air constantly and we rarely notice air - unless we don't have it. Being Pathologically Positive means we look at things differently. We discover an internal power that allows us to see what is in front of us in a different way so we can achieve success. Being Pathologically Positive means that no matter what is going around us, even despair and difficulties, we can be positive and in agent mode. Pathologically Positive people broaden their perspective to see possibilities…
Read More
Have you heard the saying, "We don't see things as they really are, we see things as we are?" It means that we are influenced by everything that has gone into making us who we are. All our experiences, all our personal beliefs, our culture and our worldview. Everything that we see is filtered through our lens. And our lens is not like anyone else's. We all see things a little differently. (Sometimes, very differently). Just knowing this can help us to be aware of our assumptions, to challenge our thinking. The saying, "You can't know another person until you have walked in their shoes," is another way of saying, we can't make judgments about another person without looking at the situation through their eyes. We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are We paint the world with our own colors, we shape it with…
Read More
I heard a great definition of an adult. An adult is someone who gives more than they take. There is another saying that the more you give the more you get. In my years of counseling and coaching, the unhappiest people are those who expect things and don't look for opportunities to give. There have also been some unhappy people who feel they give all the time without receiving. In relationships it can get tricky when people try to determine who is giving and who is taking. Those relationships are often in trouble. I call those balance sheet relationships and they never even out to the satisfaction of the partner measuring. There are times in relationships when we need more and there are times when we need to be giving. Communication is key to any relationship. Be open and honest when you need more. Be specific with what you need.…
Read More
Did you ever notice that sometimes the simplest of questions don't have simple answers? The question was asked in a conversation talking about some really serious recent happenings in the world. Why can't people just be kind to each other? Could it be that easy? I think so. Then, what prevents us from being kind to everyone, all the time? People are full of insecurities, past hurts and experiences, trauma and psychosis. Our brains are hardwired to protect us. When we feel threatened our brains tell us to act in ways to protect ourselves and that means we are not protecting others. The fight response kicks in and we put up our fists, use words to land a sucker punch, and cause the person we are interacting with to put up their fists, and try to get a punch to the solar plex. It doesn't have to be that way. We can…
Read More
I ran to the store right after Christmas and as I drove down the street I saw overflowing trash cans. The leftover remains of the holidays was on display. It reminded me that the New Year is a great time to get rid of trash - our head trash. The new year is all about fresh starts and resolutions. We are more likely to be successful with our fresh start and resolutions when we get rid of the trash in our heads. Imagine a garbage can. Now, throw in the negative thoughts that have held you back from reaching your goals. "I would love to, I just don't have the (time), (money), (energy), (support)." Throw these thoughts in the trash. Throw in your doubts and baggage and what you will find is you have room in your head for positive thoughts and possibilities. Put that trash on the street for…
Read More
I'd like to be the sort of friend that you have been to me; I'd like to be the help that you've been always glad to be; I'd like to mean as much to you each minute of the day As you have meant, old friend of mine, to me along the way. I'd like to do the big things and the splendid things for you, To brush the gray out of your skies and leave them only blue; I'd like to say the kindly things that I so oft have heard, And feel that I could rouse your soul the way that mine you've stirred. I'd like to give back the joy that you have given me, Yet that were wishing you a need I hope will never be;…
Read More