Blog – Page 9 – Dr. Paul Jenkins

Jun 06

Write Your New Ending

By DrPaul M-Power

Have you ever read a book or seen a movie and were disappointed with how it ended? Clients sometimes tell me they don’t like how their life has ended up. They feel down and dejected. I feel pumped up and excited. Because it isn’t the end of the story. The last page hasn’t been turned. The credits aren’t rolling. They are still breathing. They can create an ending to their story different than what they see in front of them. When I tell some people this they aren’t pumped up because they start talking about all the things that have happened in their life that they never planned on. For the record, I don’t know of anyone who planned out their life and everything went according to that plan. It just doesn’t happen. When we write a better ending for a movie or a book, we don’t throw out everything…

May 27

Do This Before Your Relationships Suffer

By DrPaul M-Power

Too often people come to me when things are broken. Saddest of all is when relationships are broken, or hanging on by a thread, And then we get into what is wrong. In most cases they don’t need to tell me what happened. The results are predictable. They stopped spending time together. They stopped thinking about the other person and doing something nice for them. They began to let small differences become large by not addressing them. They allowed unkind words and jabs to be volleyed at each other. They started putting other people before the relationship. They began to see the other person as not someone to be trusted and loved, but as a bear, someone to avoid. The things that brought them together were pushed aside, no longer nurtured, they were left to rot. And so the relationship began to decay. It usually isn’t intentional. And it doesn’t…

May 26

Choose Love and Kindness Amid Tragedy

By DrPaul M-Power

I had something else on my mind for this week and then another senseless school shooting happened. Someone decided to walk into a place that was safe and loving and killed 21 people, leaving countless others shattered in the aftermath. It makes my heart heavy. There just aren't words. A family member knew someone whose daughter was killed in a school shooting and one thing we learned is when there are no words to convey our sadness, our compassion, or our love, we can do something. It could be sitting with them, holding their hand, giving a hug, taking in a meal, mowing a lawn, walking a dog, or taking another care off their minds until they are able to heal a bit. For those of us who do not live close and do not personally know those affected by the tragedy, we can choose today to be kind and…

May 21

Why Are We So Lousy at Self-Care?

By DrPaul M-Power

I hurt my back. No, not a big deal and not something new. It happens and contrary to what my wife says, it has nothing to do with the fact that my twin sister has a birthday coming soon. Nothing at all! Now, I know what I should do when this happens. I know it! And yet, I found myself putting it off. When things got a little worse I broke down and said, “I am just going to take 15 minutes and do the icing and stretching.” It was transformational. Even magical. Things started getting checked off my list as I was focused and able to move easier. Upon reflection I was asking myself why I hadn’t done this sooner. You see, by taking the 15 minutes I was able to be more focused, more productive and more engaged with those around me. By not having my body sending…

May 13

To-Do or Not To-Do Lists, Try Maybe

By DrPaul M-Power

To-Do lists. You know how they work. By writing everything down you have a better chance of getting tasks done because you are more likely to remember them and there is a physical reminder staring at you from your desk. I have even been known to add an item to the list just so I could cross it off. How crazy is that? It doesn’t even serve as a reminder at that point, the task is already done! I want the feeling of accomplishment, so I write it down and immediately cross it off with a flourish of my wrist. Have you ever made a to-do list and were not able to cross anything off? The helpful list turns out to be worse than a nagging boss as the items scream at you from the paper. Every uncrossed word signals to you that you are an utter failure. You aren’t,…

May 04

Uncomfortable Should be Routine

By DrPaul M-Power

Do you remember how it felt when you sat behind the wheel of a car the first time? The direction of the car was up to you. YOU had complete control. And, you felt like you had no idea what you were doing. You had some notion of how the car worked, but how to merge your movements to get the car to do what you wanted felt awkward. (Like dancing with your sister.) You very consciously turned the key, thinking about how long you needed to turn it before the engine caught, not wanting to stop turning too soon and not holding it too long. Your brain went to the next step, remove the parking brake, check for other cars or people, put the car in gear and slowly lift your foot off the brake, then carefully, slowly, press down the gas pedal. Every step was a conscious thought. Now you…

May 04

Perception vs. Reality

By DrPaul M-Power

Our perception of the world can change. It doesn't mean the world has changed. It hasn't. Perception does not change reality. A shift in perception CAN change how we see ourselves in relation to the world (or your child, partner, boss, etc.). A shift can give us an idea, resolve, or hope. A shift can empower us to alter our circumstances. A shift can help us to take a step forward when we have been frozen. Need help getting a new perspective? www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall

Apr 18

Happiness is a Choice

By DrPaul M-Power

It really is. Happiness is not a future event. It is now. But, my kids are not listening to me. I hate my job and my boss. I can't seem to get everything done that I need to. You can choose to be happy, even if your life is not where you want it yet. I know because I have done it. Problems are always going to surface. There will always be challenges. Things will break and we will have to fix them. Some will be big and some will be minor, but we can be happy through all of them. It starts with our thoughts and learning how to control them. I tell my clients all the time, "Either you run your thoughts or your thoughts run you." Are you going to choose to focus on the boss you dislike or on getting the skills you need to qualify…

Apr 02

How to Agree on Effective Rules When You Have Different Values

By DrPaul M-Power

Is it possible for couples with different values to agree on effective rules for their children? Yes! When couples simplify and seek to understand each other. Let’s start with the good news: Differences make us relevant and interesting to each other. Think about it, if you and your partner were exactly the same, one of you would be unnecessary. (Let’s not go there.) The good news is also the bad news: Differences create conflicts. (You already knew that.) There are different values, different preferences, different backgrounds, different cultures and different upbringings. These create conflicts, but they also help us to bring something unique to the relationship. Don’t try to replicate the exact culture of just one of the family backgrounds. The two of you have come together to create this new family that includes parts of each of what makes you you. As long as we are bent on keeping…

Mar 24

The Hope Class Encore

By DrPaul M-Power

Hope: (verb) want something to happen or be the case. Sounds simple enough. Yet, I hear people say they don't have any hope. And this disturbs me. Because this world needs hope. Almost everything that has been invented or created in this world has been because of hope. Someone hoped to be able to ship goods across the United States faster than horse and buggy. Someone hoped to be able to cure polio and a number of other diseases. Someone hoped to create a masterpiece that would inspire other artists. Personally, I have hoped for an education, for a wife and family, to write a book, to be a speaker, for the opportunity to be a grandpa. I think of what is not happening in people's lives because they have given up hope and it makes me sad. You can have hope, no matter what hurdles you have in your…