Dr. Paul Jenkins

Sep 25

Ideas on How To Be A Better Husband and Father

By DrPaul M-Power

There has been a lot going on in 2020. I am hearing from lots of people that their homes are not running exactly how they have in years past. Many parents are still working from home, and kids have less activities and some are experiencing remote learning. This can put a lot of pressure on parents and I am hearing from a lot of moms. They are being asked to do more and more. Have more involvement in their child’s education, (daily guidance for some) and keeping the kids active and engaged. Dad’s we can play a huge role in helping our kids and our wives. I have a few ideas for you to consider. I remember taking a little walk with my kids one day through the house. And we identified things that were not in their place. If you have kids you know what I mean, there are…

Sep 21

Love0

Contronyms and 2020

By DrPaul M-Power

I was told a long time ago that words have meaning. I have always loved words whose meanings contradict one another. These are called contronyms or Janus words. Janus is the two-faced Roman God and these auto-antonyms are named after him. Here are a few: Fast: It can mean to stay put or to go quickly Sanction: Can mean approval of something, or to restrict Strike: Can mean to hit something (like knock down all the pins in bowling), or totally miss something, (like the ball in baseball) And, one of my favorites: Cleave: You can be bound together or divide Now, when I give you the next contronym just register how it feels to you: Anxious Did you jump to feeling nervous or hesitant? Or did you go to wanting something very much, determinedly wishing for something? Most often, I hear the term anxious used as in anxiety, someone…

Sep 16

Love0

How to Stop Overthinking: the natural state of your mind

By DrPaul M-Power

How to stop overthinking? Ever wonder what space sounds like? I have never been there, but I have heard it is quiet. We are going to do that today, create some space (in your head). This may sound silly, but first, notice that you are thinking. This is a process I call metacognition. Cognition means thinking. Metacognition is a higher level. It’s thinking about thinking. Notice that. One of my colleagues said, “Hey, Paul. Every problem that we have is a problem with thinking.” That’s a bold statement. But as I’ve considered my colleague’s statement, I think he might be right. Every problem I can think of comes down to a problem with thinking. Anything that occurs to us is technically a neutral event. That’s going to sound a little foreign to you unless you’ve already had a chance to think about that. Everything that happens is a neutral event….

Sep 11

Love0

Happy Grandparents Day

By DrPaul M-Power

Sunday is a very important holiday and some of you may not even know about it. It is National Grandparents Day. My oldest grandchild just turned 6 in August and she has a brother and a sister now. Can I just say, these are three of the most important people in the world? “Your children are your rainbows and your grandchildren are your pot of gold.” One of the saddest things though is that our grandchildren live a few states away. On one of our visits, I had brought a yo-yo to the grandkids and one of the kids couldn’t get the yo-yo to go up and down, but he is an intelligent child (takes after his grandfather), and invented a new way to play with it. He had me get down on all fours, put it in front of me and began walking around the room saying, “Come on…

Sep 02

Love0

Perfectly Whelmed in a Pandemic

By DrPaul M-Power

We have been talking a bit about fortitude or strengthening ourselves to handle what gets thrown at us. What if you have taken the steps to fortify yourself, but you are still feeling a little overwhelmed? You have probably used the words overwhelmed and underwhelmed. They are opposites. The mere fact that these words describe a spectrum implies that there might be a state of being perfectly whelmed. I began wondering if there is such a word so I looked it up. Basically the definition of whelmed has to do with being completely surrounded by or buried in something. The best example that I can think of is a fish in water. A fish in water is perfectly whelmed or surrounded by, buried in water. What if you were like the fish? And whatever it is surrounding you or burying you right now is simply the water to the fish?…

Sep 01

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Fortitude Through Creation

By DrPaul M-Power

One of my core beliefs is that we are all creators. There is an innate desire in each of us to create something. It could be a beautiful garden. It could be expressed through an instrument. It could be pottery. It could be risotto. It could be a story or a book. It could be a hook shot. When we go to our happy place and create, it satisfies something deep within us that gives us the ability to handle what life throws at us. My wife told me a story about my mother-in-law. She was a strong woman who had six kids. She loved to needlepoint and made some fantastic pieces. With six little kids it was hard to find time to needlepoint. When she did sit down, she felt guilty. There were lots of other things that NEEDED to be done. There were dishes to wash. Clothes to…

Aug 26

Love0

The Myth of Time Management

By DrPaul M-Power

We hear a lot about time management, but can you manage time? No, time management is a myth. Sorry to burst your bubble. We all have the same amount of time given to us each day, 24 hours. We spend that time. Each one of us gets the same amount and we all spend it, then we get 24 hours more the next day. We decide what activities we will do to spend that time. I am hearing from a lot of people about the demands being placed on them right now with working from home and having children there, children who are now going back to school, or not. I get asked, “How am I going to help my children and get my job done?” We have to effectively use our time and this will help you to fortify yourself, to strengthen and invigorate yourself to get what you need to do done. We…

Aug 25

Love0

Psychological Effects of Yelling at Your Kids

By DrPaul M-Power

Some research has suggested that yelling is just as psychologically damaging to a child as is child abuse. I’m not sure if that is completely true, but yelling can make our children feel that they are not loved. One of the most traumatic experiences for a child is to feel unloved. You know my mantra, love your child no matter what and even if… In case you are feeling slightly uneasy right now, know you are not alone. The researchers also pointed out that almost every parent yells at their child at some point. Spanking and physical or corporal punishment is now considered to be abuse and that leaves parents feeling frustrated, depleted and overwhelmed. So they YELL. I am not talking about the times when your child’s safety is at risk. Of course if there is a car coming and you need to alert your child, you are going…

Aug 17

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Is Self-Care Selfish?

By DrPaul M-Power

You take care of your kids, who takes care of you? I can hear you now, right, Dr. Paul. Take care of myself? I have little kids, I don’t have a moment to myself all day. I get it, parenting is an all-consuming job. My wife and I have raised four kids and we know it seems sometimes that you will never have another moment to yourself. Now that Vicki and I are closer to the top of the mountain, our perspective has changed. We know that this stage of your life will not last forever. Be intentional about taking care of you. If this feels selfish, well, one of the reasons to take care of you is that the best thing you can give your kids is a happy parent. Taking care of you will allow you to show up more positively in their lives, more patient, more engaged….

Aug 13

Love0

Reframe Failure as Miss Takes

By DrPaul M-Power

When we film for YouTube, sometimes we have miss takes. Our miss takes occur because we might have set up the lighting at the wrong angle, a loud noise occurred or I just messed up. The film is stopped and we begin again. We get tipped over when we look at our mistakes as failures. That word leads to a different perspective that causes people to give up. The fear of failure causes people to not even venture, to not even try something because they are afraid of failing. We rob ourselves of valuable learning experiences by not trying. If we can reframe our fear of failure a little differently, then we might want to try again. Robert Kiyosaki is the best-selling author of Rich Dad Poor Dad, and he said, if you really want to succeed, start failing faster. He knows that on the road to success, there are going to be miss…

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