You take care of your kids, who takes care of you?

I can hear you now, right, Dr. Paul. Take care of myself? I have little kids, I don’t have a moment to myself all day.

I get it, parenting is an all-consuming job.

My wife and I have raised four kids and we know it seems sometimes that you will never have another moment to yourself. Now that Vicki and I are closer to the top of the mountain, our perspective has changed. We know that this stage of your life will not last forever.

Be intentional about taking care of you. If this feels selfish, well, one of the reasons to take care of you is that the best thing you can give your kids is a happy parent. Taking care of you will allow you to show up more positively in their lives, more patient, more engaged.

This won’t happen magically. Your child won’t ask you if you need some alone time.

You will need to plan for, make arrangements for self-care. Get it on your schedule.

Sometimes being alone is what you need and sometimes creating connection is what you need.

I remember when our oldest was about three. Vicki went in another room trying to find some alone time. He asked what she was doing and she said, “I need a little privacy.” He came out to me and said, “Mommy needs privacy, where is it?” I told him, “Go tell mom, it is all gone.”

I know the majority of your day is active parenting. Find little moments in the day such as when the kids are playing, sit close by and journal. This activity can help you to express yourself and gain perspective.

Play music in the background of your day that makes your heart smile.Change your environment, take a walk with the kids.

Do something nice for someone else, don’t overdo it. Don’t go to Pinterest for ideas. Have the kids draw a picture. Take a few of the cookies you have been making and wrap them up. Go for a walk and deliver the pictures and cookies to an elderly neighbor.

Taking time for yourself will increase your productivity. You will be able to do more and show up more positively.

You are never wrong about how you feel so if you are feeling blue, give yourself permission to have a blue moment. Give yourself a limit, maybe 10 minutes, then plan to change the moment. Plan to play some uplifting music or call a friend.

Pick one thing at the beginning of your day that you are going to savor. Maybe it is a shower, maybe it is the 10 minutes in the car alone, maybe it is 20 minutes to sit and read while the baby is sleeping. Be conscious, mindful, present in the moment and then draw from that moment during the rest of the day.

If you need more help on how or why you should practice daily self-care, meet us over at Live On Purpose Central. We have discussion groups that meet monthly, where you can recharge your battery, learn new things and talk to others who may be experiencing the same things you are now.

We are here for you. Go to to schedule a time to talk to one of our coaches about the services we offer or subscribe to our membership site at

Dr. Paul