M-Power – Page 31 – Dr. Paul Jenkins

Oct 01

Stay Positive In A Negative World

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

Stay Positive In A Negative World Ahhh, election season, as if there wasn’t enough negativity in the world. So how can you stay positive in the muck? In a recent episode on YouTube, I share principles and skills that can help you Stay Positive in a Negative World. Identify Principles that are related to positivity. When you understand the principle, you can change the outcome. 1. Everything has an upside and a downside. There are pros and cons, pleasure and pain. Up does not exist except in relationship to down. Opposites define each other. 2. We constantly judge, and you can’t turn it off. Judgment also implies comparison. That you think the world is negative, is a judgment. It could always be better and always be worse depending on our judgment of what is occurring. 3. We are constantly creating and we have the ability to create a mess or hope.…

Aug 10

Pathological Positivity and Power Tools

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

Pathological Positivity and Power Tools Power Tools is the name of Chapter 6 in my book, Pathological Positivity. What a strange name for a chapter in a book that teaches you how to Live On Purpose. What do power tools have to do with positivity? In Chapter 6, I share a treasured experience of moving a shower drain in a 6-inch concrete floor. After chipping away for a week with a hand-held chisel and a two-pound sledge hammer, progress is sloooooow. My handyman neighbor drops by, observes, chuckles, and tells me he will be back in a minute. My neighbor returns with a hammer-drill, little brother of a jackhammer. “Here, plug this in and give er’ a whirl,” he says. There is no comparison of this tool and my little chisel. The power tool definitely made the job quicker, easier and with less perspiration, but without a power source, it would have…

Jul 29

How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed and Depressed

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

How to Choose to Be Happy With everything on our to do lists and media bombarding us at all times, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and depressed. Would you believe me if I told you there is a way to stop feeling overwhelmed and depressed and choose to be happy? On a recent YouTube episode of Live On Purpose TV, Devan Bosch shared several experiences he has had in doing just this. Devan shared that when we are feeling down, the focus is on ourselves. We are thinking about our wants, our needs, our experiences, our feelings. The arrow, or our focus, is entirely inward. If we stay in this mode for long it is easy to experience victim thoughts and allow past hurts to have centerstage. We need to turn the arrow around, get the focus off ourselves and start thinking about others, what they might be experiencing…

Jul 26

How To Get Your Kids To Listen Without Yelling

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

Do You Have to Yell to Get Your Kids to Listen? I had a client ask me one day, “Dr. Paul, why do my kids wait until the twelfth time I’ve asked them and I’m upset and angry before they’ll do something?” The answer was the kids have trained dad to yell before they respond AND dad has trained the kids to ignore him until the twelfth time he asks and resorts to yelling. Notice, it goes both directions. This is important as we manage the dynamic of how to encourage our kids to listen to us without yelling. From a behavioral psychology standpoint, yelling is a trap because it is not a punishment, it is a reinforcer. Understand the difference between a reinforcer and a punishment. A punishment decreases a behavior, a reinforcer increases the behavior. Yelling is a reinforcer, not a punishment. Kids ALWAYS have choices. They choose to…

Jul 09

Can Creativity Be Forced?

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

Set Yourself Up for Creativity We all know someone we consider to be creative. You may even consider yourself to be creative. What about the rest of us? The ones who don’t think they have a creative bone in their bodies? There are ways you can generate ideas that lead to creativity. In the YouTube video, “How To Generate Ideas,” five ways are given for you create an atmosphere where ideas flourish and creativity flows. 1. Set aside time to brainstorm. The fact is, we are all busy, but we need to unplug and allow ourselves time to ponder something without being pulled into our phones, a text, social media or family responsibilities. Figure out a time when you can get away to just think. 2. Create a setting that is conducive to the creative part of your brain. Get out of your normal space where you use the executive…

Jul 03

Decide To Get a Fresh Start in Life

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

Would You Rather? You Decide! Have you ever played the game, “Would You Rather?” It is a great way to find out how another person feels about something, really anything. All you do is present two options and ask, “Would You Rather?” The questions can be simple from, “Would you rather attend a world-renowned symphony or a major league baseball game between the two worst teams in the league?” Or, more thought provoking, “Would you rather have three happy years left in your life or 50 unhappy years?” With some questions, the choice is clear and sometimes it isn’t, but you have a choice. When we are feeling stuck in our daily lives, we need to remember this simple truth, we have a choice and we can choose to give ourselves a fresh start in life. In a recent YouTube episode, I share five ways that will lead you to a…

Jun 05

Three Ways to Improve Performance

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

Three Ways to Improve Performance Just like actors who take on a role, we all have roles to play every day. The difference is few people get to see us perform in a given role and rarely do we set out to perform with the thought of getting an award for our work and efforts. Despite the fact that fame and fortune are probably not in our future, we have other reasons to perform well at our jobs, and relationships. We all have reasons for trying our best at the roles we take on. Some will say they are seeking pleasure, satisfaction, happiness, contentment. Whatever you call it, people want “the feeling.” Why do you strive for money? The feeling. For love? The feeling. For respect? The feeling. We want the feeling that life is good and we are good at life. One a recent YouTube episode, I shared three ways to improve your performance. These general…

May 22

The Times They Are A-Changin’

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

A commercial (which will not be named), came on during a perfectly family friendly show and a conversation ensued about how the world is changing. A few longed for the good ol’ days. Funny thing is, the good ol’ days mean something different to each generation and do we really wish our world was static? Let’s go back to the good ol’ days of outhouses and horse and buggies with the pony express. No takers? Fact is, “The Times They Are A Changin’,” sort of. One thing that doesn’t change in our world are principles. Principles, when identified and applied, ground us in an ever-changing world. When we align our behavior with principles, we have a framework from which to guide our lives and have a better chance of ending up where we want to go, no matter what is happening around us. Think about an area in your life…

May 14

Acquire Tools – Acquire Happiness

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

What is your favorite tool? Recently a friend suggested a garden tool that has cut weeding time in the garden by half! Hello, new best friend. Where have you been all my life? We have all heard the saying, “Work smarter, not harder.” Tools allow us to do this and they are helpful for all kinds of tasks inside the house and out. There are also tools that help us to become Pathologically Positive and when we choose to use these tools, we choose happiness. Scott Wilhite, author of, “The 7 Core Skills of Everyday Happiness," joined me for a recent episode on YouTube and shared three skills he practices every day that bring him happiness. The first skill is the skill of gratitude. If we feel we owe someone for what they have done for us, that isn’t gratitude. Gratitude is being thankful for the small and big things that give meaning to…

Apr 30

Self-Destructive Behaviors in Relationships

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

We enter relationships with the best of intentions. It doesn’t matter if it is a work, social, or even a romantic relationship. Our behaviors can be productive or not helpful. A Pathologically Positive person wants to make the most of all their relationships so let’s examine a pattern of negative behaviors that will cause any relationship to implode so we know what not to do. How does self-destruction happen in a relationship? We can boil it down to four words: Criticism, Negativity, Selfishness and Disrespect. Criticism doesn’t even have to be real or intended, as long as it is felt, it works to damage our relationships. Negativity is tied to criticism. Negativity is manifested by complaining and complaining is focused on yourself, not the other person, which leads us to our next step, selfishness. Selfishness is when we turn all our attention inward. We are concerned with how we feel…