Let's start with what gets in the way of making up our mind about something. Usually we create some kind of pressure or expectation that we have to get it right, That expectation creates a fear that we may get it wrong and who wants to be wrong? And so, we do not make a decision at all. Brett Harward is a friend of mine and the author of the 5 Laws That Determine All Of Life's Outcomes. Brett talks about the law of frequency. And my understanding of that comes from an example that Brett shared with me. If you can imagine having a nice little paper bag, and I put in 20 $1.00 bills. Then I add 15 $5.00 bills. Then I add 10 $20.00 bills and 5 $50.00 bills. To top it off, I put in 1 $100.00 bill. Now, which one of the bills do you want?…
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Sunday is a very important holiday and some of you may not even know about it. It is National Grandparents Day. My oldest grandchild just turned 6 in August and she has a brother and a sister now. Can I just say, these are three of the most important people in the world? “Your children are your rainbows and your grandchildren are your pot of gold.” One of the saddest things though is that our grandchildren live a few states away. On one of our visits, I had brought a yo-yo to the grandkids and one of the kids couldn’t get the yo-yo to go up and down, but he is an intelligent child (takes after his grandfather), and invented a new way to play with it. He had me get down on all fours, put it in front of me and began walking around the room saying, “Come on…
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Sunday, September 6th was National Fight Procrastination Day. Why do we procrastinate? The most common answer I get from people is that the thing they say they want to do is hard or uncomfortable. Even though they know it may be good for them, they procrastinate beginning. Why should we undertake hard tasks? I've learned this: You get to have either hard-easy or easy-hard. And what I mean by that is often when we choose to do the easy thing now, we set ourselves up for a harder existence later on. Take your health as an example, we pay for our health now or later, but we will pay. We all know we should exercise, but we put it off. in which case, we are choosing easy/hard. Meaning, it is easy to sit on the couch and watch TV and eat potato chips, and the hard part comes later with possible poor health,…
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We have been talking a bit about fortitude or strengthening ourselves to handle what gets thrown at us. What if you have taken the steps to fortify yourself, but you are still feeling a little overwhelmed? You have probably used the words overwhelmed and underwhelmed. They are opposites. The mere fact that these words describe a spectrum implies that there might be a state of being perfectly whelmed. I began wondering if there is such a word so I looked it up. Basically the definition of whelmed has to do with being completely surrounded by or buried in something. The best example that I can think of is a fish in water. A fish in water is perfectly whelmed or surrounded by, buried in water. What if you were like the fish? And whatever it is surrounding you or burying you right now is simply the water to the fish?…
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One of my core beliefs is that we are all creators. There is an innate desire in each of us to create something. It could be a beautiful garden. It could be expressed through an instrument. It could be pottery. It could be risotto. It could be a story or a book. It could be a hook shot. When we go to our happy place and create, it satisfies something deep within us that gives us the ability to handle what life throws at us. My wife told me a story about my mother-in-law. She was a strong woman who had six kids. She loved to needlepoint and made some fantastic pieces. With six little kids it was hard to find time to needlepoint. When she did sit down, she felt guilty. There were lots of other things that NEEDED to be done. There were dishes to wash. Clothes to…
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We hear a lot about time management, but can you manage time? No, time management is a myth. Sorry to burst your bubble. We all have the same amount of time given to us each day, 24 hours. We spend that time. Each one of us gets the same amount and we all spend it, then we get 24 hours more the next day. We decide what activities we will do to spend that time. I am hearing from a lot of people about the demands being placed on them right now with working from home and having children there, children who are now going back to school, or not. I get asked, "How am I going to help my children and get my job done?" We have to effectively use our time and this will help you to fortify yourself, to strengthen and invigorate yourself to get what you need to do done. We…
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Some research has suggested that yelling is just as psychologically damaging to a child as is child abuse. I’m not sure if that is completely true, but yelling can make our children feel that they are not loved. One of the most traumatic experiences for a child is to feel unloved. You know my mantra, love your child no matter what and even if… In case you are feeling slightly uneasy right now, know you are not alone. The researchers also pointed out that almost every parent yells at their child at some point. Spanking and physical or corporal punishment is now considered to be abuse and that leaves parents feeling frustrated, depleted and overwhelmed. So they YELL. I am not talking about the times when your child’s safety is at risk. Of course if there is a car coming and you need to alert your child, you are going…
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You take care of your kids, who takes care of you? I can hear you now, right, Dr. Paul. Take care of myself? I have little kids, I don’t have a moment to myself all day. I get it, parenting is an all-consuming job. My wife and I have raised four kids and we know it seems sometimes that you will never have another moment to yourself. Now that Vicki and I are closer to the top of the mountain, our perspective has changed. We know that this stage of your life will not last forever. Be intentional about taking care of you. If this feels selfish, well, one of the reasons to take care of you is that the best thing you can give your kids is a happy parent. Taking care of you will allow you to show up more positively in their lives, more patient, more engaged.…
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When we film for YouTube, sometimes we have miss takes. Our miss takes occur because we might have set up the lighting at the wrong angle, a loud noise occurred or I just messed up. The film is stopped and we begin again. We get tipped over when we look at our mistakes as failures. That word leads to a different perspective that causes people to give up. The fear of failure causes people to not even venture, to not even try something because they are afraid of failing. We rob ourselves of valuable learning experiences by not trying. If we can reframe our fear of failure a little differently, then we might want to try again. Robert Kiyosaki is the best-selling author of Rich Dad Poor Dad, and he said, if you really want to succeed, start failing faster. He knows that on the road to success, there are going to be miss…
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OK, I wasn’t sure about this. Really? We have joked at our house about everyday being kid day. Then I read this, “The purpose of this holiday is for parents to celebrate all their children and to show them love and appreciation. On this day, parents all over the United States take time out of their busy schedules to show their children just how much they mean to them.” Wait, this holiday is right up my alley in so many ways. First, we are choosing Love. Something my book, “The Love Choice,” focuses on. Second, when we model love and appreciation to our kids, it is teaching them how to love and appreciate those in their lives who make a difference. Third, it is about slowing down and intentionally thinking about one of the most important relationships in our lives, our children. Without getting too sappy, they are our future…
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