DrPaul – Page 20 – Dr. Paul Jenkins

Aug 04

How To Reduce Children’s Stress and Frustration

By DrPaul M-Power

Stress, and frustration usually come up, because we feel that things are not the way they should be. Sound familiar anyone? This triggers an emotional response for us as parents when we think things are not how they should be. This happens to our children also. If we see our kids stressed out or getting frustrated, the biggest help we can give them is to take a step back and keep ourselves calm. If our children are frustrated and we become frustrated, we aren’t helping. Take a deep breath and kind of detach for a moment. Check your face. Check your posture, your body language. Check your voice. Maintaining a calm voice, face, and body will show our children how we act when we think things are not the way they should be. Your amazing imagination has the capability of dreaming up scenarios that are either better or worse than…

Jul 31

The Risks of Comparing Children

By DrPaul M-Power

You probably think I will tell you to stop comparing your children, but I won’t. I’m not sure you can. I think our psychology is designed in such a way that we constantly compare. You compare yourself all the time, sometimes kind of unfairly. You are going to compare your kids to something whether it's an imagined standard, whether it's to their siblings and the other kids in the family or whether it's to what you think most kids are like. Notice that you're doing it. When you compare your kids to other kids it changes you, specifically your mood because there are processes going on in our mind all the time.You can't turn them off. We are judging or evaluating ourselves, our kids, our circumstances, everything in our life. When I see this happen to families I am coaching often I will call it to their attention. I'll do…

Jul 30

A Tuning Fork, a Harp and Your Mood

By DrPaul M-Power

How are you feeling today? Last time I gave you some ideas on how to create peace of mind by: 1) Getting clear on our sphere of influence and spending more time there and, 2) Figuring out our triggers and making a plan to limit or control them If you missed these you can find the blog article here. The next tip for creating peace is in the music we listen to. I have found that we often try to match our music to our mood and if you are feeling upset or angry it's easy to gravitate toward that upset, angry music. I am suggesting that we can use music to change our mood. It is not easy because if you are feeling upset and angry, you are kind of resonating at this upset, angry level. Some of you might be aware of a concept in physics and music…

Jul 28

Cultivating Peace Of Mind In Daily Life

By DrPaul M-Power

There's all kinds of negative news out there. It just feels like the world is determined to take away your peace of mind. Guess what? You have a choice to create peace of mind in your daily life...you do! Get clear on what your sphere of influence is. You don’t need to worry about what is outside your sphere, focus on what you have control over. Knowing what you control really helps to not feel so tipped over with everything going on. It isn’t ignoring what is happening, in fact, consciously accept the fact that things are happening that disturb you, but when you understand what is outside your control, they are less likely to steal your peace. If there is something that you don’t want to watch on TV, what do you do? Yep, turn the channel. It is the same in our lives, if there is something bugging…

May 12

5 Effects Of Bad Parenting

By DrPaul M-Power

As a psychologist, I have seen some of the effects of bad parenting. Having said that, before I get into the top 5, it's a relief to know that most of these things can be fixed. Especially if we jump on it quickly and early. The first thing that came to my mind is one of the effects of bad parenting is the endangerment of children. I'm thinking about a video that we've probably all seen, Home Alone. The parents somehow forgot and left one of their children home alone. Macaulay Culkin plays the child, who at first was a little tipped over but then starts to enjoy himself. Endangerment is one of the issues we need to look out for and especially when it comes to abuse. There is no excuse for the abuse of children. And that's not what this particular video is about. But that's one of…

May 11

The Best Way For KIDS To Totally MANIPULATE Their Parents

By DrPaul M-Power

One of our younger viewers on our YouTube Channel asked, "Dr. Paul, can you tell us the best way to totally manipulate our parents?" And I can. Parents, before you run screaming away, stick with me because I think you are going to like the final answer. Let's explore a few options first. Maybe, the best way for you to totally manipulate your parents is to just tell them what they want to hear. You know what they want to hear. So, just tell them that. Vicki, you are a mom. Can you tell if they're doing that? Vicki: Usually I can tell right away. Paul: Can you tell if they're doing that as a parent? Yeah, you can. It stinks a little. I mean you can kind of smell it. You can see it coming. Tell them what they want to hear. Vicki: No. That's not it. Paul: Well…

Apr 10

How To Achieve Peace Of Mind In Daily Life

By DrPaul M-Power

Peace of mind is something that I get asked about a lot and I have one of our Certified Live On Purpose Coaches, Devan Bosch, to help us out. Devan, you've got a lot of reasons for knowing about peace and there's not a lot of peace in the world. Would you agree? Devan: Absolutely. It's all around us. Everywhere to go. On my way here this morning, I was struggling with it, just thoughts about things that have happened over the last couple of days. People that have failed to show up in my life and different things like that. Paul: There's all kinds of negative news out there. It just feels like the world is in turmoil. So we're addressing today this question of how to achieve peace. How to find that or create it as you and I talked about quite a bit in our daily lives?…

Apr 09

How To Stop Overthinking Everything And Find Peace Of Mind

By DrPaul M-Power

You will either run your mind or your mind will run you. If you have to choose between those two, which one do you want? To run your own mind, you have to know a little bit about how it operates. Metacognition is a made-up word, in psychology all it means is thinking about thinking. I want you to notice that you can do this. Because as you think about your own thinking, we create a little space, and in that space is where choice exists. This will be really important in our strategy to stop overthinking everything and experience some peace. Metacognition, thinking about thinking, turn that on for a moment and I'm going to walk you through a little exercise. I got this idea from a book that I've been reading called, "The Power Of Now," by Eckhart Tolle. It's an amazing, profound book that helps us to…

Apr 08

How To Do The Right Thing When It’s Hard

By DrPaul M-Power

One of our viewers asked, "Doctor Paul, how do you do the right thing when it's hard?" There's some psychological tricks to this. And I'm going to fill you in on each one of them. First of all, newsflash! The right thing often is hard. Do you remember in Harry Potter where Dumbledore is talking to Harry and he says, "There will come a time when you have to decide between doing what is right and doing what is easy." That implies that the right thing is hard. My friend Art Coombs is just finishing his new book entitled, Hard Easy, Easy Hard, and it's about this concept where if you choose to do the easy thing right now, you probably are going to create a harder life for yourself. And then the converse of that. If you choose to do the hard thing now, you're more likely to set…

Apr 07

How To Help Your Spouse With Depression

By DrPaul M-Power

There are four specific things you can do right now to help your spouse with depression and they may seem to be simple. Just because something seems simple, it doesn’t mean it is easy. First, your job is to love them no matter what and even if… It isn’t to make sure that they anything. Let's take the word love and break it down into 4 steps for each of the letters in the word LOVE. L stands for LISTEN. You have two ears and one mouth. Let's use them in that particular ratio. This is so powerful. Just yesterday, I was meeting with a couple where they both had some things they needed to share. She started to share what was on her mind and he immediately started to speak over her and interrupt her and interject his own thinking and agendas. She immediately closed right down. Can you…