Dr. Paul Jenkins

Dec 12

Worry is the Misuse of Imagination

By DrPaul M-Power

Christmas is a time of imagination and creativity. Sometimes people use their imagination in the wrong way. It isn’t all sugar plums and twinkling lights. They imagine troubles, hardships, scarcity and conflict. No twinkling lights there. Dan Zadra said, “Worry is the misuse of imagination.” We have a choice – allow your imagination to think positive or negative thoughts. You do have something to do with the future – but you don’t know what will happen. Did you predict a pandemic and exactly how it all played out? Did you predict a war in the Ukraine? People say, “But I am a realist.” That is fine, be a realist – be an Equal Opportunity Realist. When your mind begins to wander, call it back and imagine something wonderfully positive happening. One of the most often refrains I hear is, “I could never have imagined I would be in this situation.” (For…

Nov 16

Love0

What is Your TED Moment?

By DrPaul M-Power

Do you like TED Talks or Inspirational Speakers? The psychologist in me is fascinated by these speeches. There is a common thread through most of the talks given. There was something hard. Obstacles and problems were placed before them. It was something they would not have chosen for themselves. They suffered, but persevered. The person did not give up. And out of the conflict or trauma they have learned or created something that helps others. They open up and are vulnerable about their experiences and the transformation that occurred in them. That vulnerability creates a connection with people. Even if we don’t know them personally. In the vulnerability others can connect with them and see hope. So, if you are going through a hard thing (and who isn’t?) ask yourself what you can learn from the experience. Then when you are in a good place, share with others. Let your…

Nov 10

Love0

Lesson of a Colorful Paper Turkey

By DrPaul M-Power

Remember the colorful paper turkey’s we used to make in school around this time of year? On each red, yellow, or orange feather, we would write something we were grateful for. Mine often mentioned my family, friends, food, and toys, probably similar to yours. I wonder if my teachers had any idea of the benefits of writing down the things we are grateful for. Did they know that gratitude journaling can increase productivity, happiness and better health? Did they know that gratitude journaling can stimulate the prefrontal cortex to lead to better reasoning and decision making? Did they know that gratitude journaling can shift our minds away from “I” and “me” to “we” and thus relieve anxiety? Did they know that gratitude journaling can decrease feelings of depression and sadness? Did they know that gratitude journaling can make us happier – even if our circumstances have not changed? So many…

Nov 02

Love0

Don’t Be Afraid to Be a Beginner

By DrPaul M-Power

Remember how it felt when the teacher would introduce a new concept to the class? Often what we were faced with looked like hieroglyphics until the teacher explained what everything meant on the paper and how to read it. Often kids look at the paper and immediately go to: “I can’t do this.” “I have never dealt with this before.” “I don’t get it.” Teachers patiently try to walk their students through the steps until the lightbulb comes on. This usually happens after the child has calmed down enough to actually look at the paper and follow the directions. Maybe for you it was learning algebra and suddenly having letters thrown in with numbers. (I thought it was kind of fun, but I remember others having a harder time.) We all survived algebra yet we still get new problems thrown at us. Like calculus problems. Unlike algebra, these seem to…

Oct 28

Love0

Imagination and Creation

By DrPaul M-Power

Imaginations are powerful. Imagination is the ability to see something that isn’t in the present. It is the ability to dream up something new, to be creative and resourceful. Imagine if you could feel calm and hopeful when things are tumultuous. Imagine if you were presented with a problem and you knew immediately what to do. Imagine if you went a whole day without losing your patience. What is your imagine if? When we do exercises like this we tend to imagine something better, something that will increase our happiness. Yet, we have the ability to think up something worse and some people automatically go there. I call it defaulting to the negative. I also call it stinkin’ thinkin’. Next time you find your thoughts going to the negative know that you have control. Boss your brain. Tell your brain you are the boss and you want to imagine something…

Oct 19

Love0

What’s Your Angle?

By DrPaul M-Power

What’s your angle? When we say this we want to know what someone is trying to get out of a situation. You know what I mean. All the sudden your kids are asking if there is anything they can do for you??!? We know something’s up and they are probably wanting the car or another privilege. I gotta hand it to them, at least they are using the try-angle. When we have a problem, it can be easy to throw our hands up in the air and scream. Especially if it feels like we have tried everything. People often tell me this, “Dr. Paul, I have tried everything.”They really think there is nothing else to try. That is not a fun place to be coming from. There is most likely something else you can do. Coaching has helped me in my professional and private life. It can help you too and…

Oct 07

Love0

Coal and Diamonds

By DrPaul M-Power

Lead is a normally soft metal, yet when it is squeezed under enormous pressure, it becomes stronger. Henry Kissinger said, “A diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure.” He also reminded us that diamonds aren’t made in a day. Sometimes pressure is exerted externally, without our consent and that can feel difficult. Like when a pandemic was forced on us and all the sudden we had pressures we hadn’t seen coming and didn’t ask for. We are largely out of the pandemic and many people learned a lot of hard lessons through the pandemic. I have observed that when people challenge themselves and don’t wait for something externally to challenge them, they often get lots of benefits from their challenge. Challenging yourself can increase self-esteem because you can learn to do something that you previously could not do. Challenging yourself can increase your brain power. You…

Sep 26

Love0

Discipline

By DrPaul M-Power

DIscipline gets a bad rap in our culture. We think of it as punishment. As something to be avoided and only embraced if we have no other choice. “Discipline is rarely enjoyable, but almost always profitable.” Darrin Patrick From the Latin origin, the word discipline can mean student. When you look at it from that angle, we are simply students trying to learn to do something better. We are gaining more information. We are practicing and not expected to be perfect at this moment. “We don’t drift into good directions. We discipline and prioritize ourselves there.” Andy Stanley Whether we are disciplining ourselves or our children, think of discipline as teaching and that can help us to be more understanding and kind to ourselves and others. I say that it takes two things to raise a child: Love and Discipline in the right amounts. It takes the same two things…

Sep 19

Love0

Avoid These Two Words

By DrPaul M-Power

My editor tells me to avoid using words like never and always in writing. I have noticed that it is sage advice for thinking. Things are almost never or always. Do you ALWAYS lose your keys? Probably not. You might be prone to misplacing them, but that just means you need to come up with a system that works for you. Do you NEVER get it right? Probably not. There are several times throughout the day that you get something right on. Our brains like to tell us we always or never do things and it isn’t true. We can train our brains to think differently. Next time you hear an always or never, understand that you are defaulting to the negative and replace it with a positive. Challenge your thinking. You can make your brain default to positivity. If you need help with that, we have the tools to change noxious negativity to…

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