Questions are power tools of change. Power tools work best when plugged in and turned on. Sometimes the questions we ask are not really questions. My friend and creative editor, Tom Cantrell, called me on this recently when he asked, “Was that a question, or a statement disguised as a question?” Here’s a common example: “How can I […]
Questions in Disguise Read More »
The motivational master, Earl Nightingale promoted Pathological Positivity when he suggested that we learn to habitually respond to even devastating circumstances by saying “that’s good” – then engage our marvelous minds to discover or create what’s good about it. As a psychologist, I see the power in this strategy. Our mind will dutifully fulfill our
What is the biggest barrier to success, happiness, great relationships? Anxiety and fear. Try this experiment: – Take in a deep, slow, intentional breath through your nose. – Hold that breath for a moment, allowing yourself to feel the stretch. – Release slowly, through the mouth. – Repeat two or three more times. Notice what
Perceiving problems as problems is the problem. Positivity is a practical approach to solve every problem. Pathological Positivity is not ignoring or avoiding reality, but intentionally and doggedly insisting on seeing possibilities in problems and finding or creating constructive tools to handle inevitable challenges. Imagine hearing a big commotion in your front yard. You open your door
Do About versus Do With Read More »
David and Brenda have scheduled an appointment for some Pathologically Positive coaching. They are trying to save their twenty five year marriage. As is the case with far too many long-term couples, they are on the brink of divorce. There’s no real problem – and that is the problem. Brenda explains that she just doesn’t
Maybe It’s The Love Read More »
Time management? That is a misnomer. We can’t really manage it can we? We can measure it, spend it, and watch it pass, but we can’t save it, control it, or manage it. How will we spend it? When we spend our time on the activities that are ultimately most valuable to us, we have
What if you were to go to the elementary school to drop off a form at the office? While you are standing at the front desk, a man in a ski mask barges in through the front door brandishing a gun and yelling profanities. Unseen by the gunman, the police officer assigned to your child’s
How To Be Happy Now Read More »
Thursday is Thanksgiving in the United States. Grateful guests will bring flowers to express appreciation and brighten the table of their host. Wednesday I will speak at the funeral of a friend. Consoling grievers will bring flowers to comfort the family and beautify the bier. I would rather speak to him than about him. Sometimes
My dad still consults with me on a regular basis and is one of my trusted advisors. He and I share a fear of plumbing. Dad taught me that there are two basic rules of plumbing: Rule number one: Water runs downhill. Rule number two: Don’t lick your fingers. Positive psychology also has
Plumbing and Psychology Read More »
Success comes in cans, not in can’ts. From a purely psychological perspective, what happens right after we tell ourselves we can’t? The next step after “I can’t” is, “I won’t even try. I’m done. Finished. Defeated.” “I can’t” is a toggle switch on the side of our brain that turns our creative mind off. It is
Success Comes in Cans Read More »
