Cyndi Baker – Page 5 – Dr. Paul Jenkins

Jun 05

Three Ways to Improve Performance

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

Three Ways to Improve Performance Just like actors who take on a role, we all have roles to play every day. The difference is few people get to see us perform in a given role and rarely do we set out to perform with the thought of getting an award for our work and efforts. Despite the fact that fame and fortune are probably not in our future, we have other reasons to perform well at our jobs, and relationships. We all have reasons for trying our best at the roles we take on. Some will say they are seeking pleasure, satisfaction, happiness, contentment. Whatever you call it, people want “the feeling.” Why do you strive for money? The feeling. For love? The feeling. For respect? The feeling. We want the feeling that life is good and we are good at life. One a recent YouTube episode, I shared three ways to improve your performance. These general…

May 22

The Times They Are A-Changin’

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

A commercial (which will not be named), came on during a perfectly family friendly show and a conversation ensued about how the world is changing. A few longed for the good ol’ days. Funny thing is, the good ol’ days mean something different to each generation and do we really wish our world was static? Let’s go back to the good ol’ days of outhouses and horse and buggies with the pony express. No takers? Fact is, “The Times They Are A Changin’,” sort of. One thing that doesn’t change in our world are principles. Principles, when identified and applied, ground us in an ever-changing world. When we align our behavior with principles, we have a framework from which to guide our lives and have a better chance of ending up where we want to go, no matter what is happening around us. Think about an area in your life…

May 14

Acquire Tools – Acquire Happiness

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

What is your favorite tool? Recently a friend suggested a garden tool that has cut weeding time in the garden by half! Hello, new best friend. Where have you been all my life? We have all heard the saying, “Work smarter, not harder.” Tools allow us to do this and they are helpful for all kinds of tasks inside the house and out. There are also tools that help us to become Pathologically Positive and when we choose to use these tools, we choose happiness. Scott Wilhite, author of, “The 7 Core Skills of Everyday Happiness," joined me for a recent episode on YouTube and shared three skills he practices every day that bring him happiness. The first skill is the skill of gratitude. If we feel we owe someone for what they have done for us, that isn’t gratitude. Gratitude is being thankful for the small and big things that give meaning to…

Apr 30

Self-Destructive Behaviors in Relationships

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

We enter relationships with the best of intentions. It doesn’t matter if it is a work, social, or even a romantic relationship. Our behaviors can be productive or not helpful. A Pathologically Positive person wants to make the most of all their relationships so let’s examine a pattern of negative behaviors that will cause any relationship to implode so we know what not to do. How does self-destruction happen in a relationship? We can boil it down to four words: Criticism, Negativity, Selfishness and Disrespect. Criticism doesn’t even have to be real or intended, as long as it is felt, it works to damage our relationships. Negativity is tied to criticism. Negativity is manifested by complaining and complaining is focused on yourself, not the other person, which leads us to our next step, selfishness. Selfishness is when we turn all our attention inward. We are concerned with how we feel…

Apr 24

Change Your Language, Change Your Life

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

Word choice, tone, inflection. All can tell others where you are from. They can also tell others where you are coming from. Language can make it clear to others and ourselves, (if we are listening), whether our life perspective is one of noxious negativity or one of Pathological Positivity. Paying attention to how we speak helps us respond to life’s surprises in a healthier and more productive way. Tiffany Peterson, my friend and colleague, reminded me recently in a YouTube episode that what we say is not always directed outside of ourselves, but the person we talk to the most everyday is probably yourself. After all, we are with ourselves 24/7. Self-doubt and fears will creep in, just as weeds will always grow in a garden. Tiffany gives us some hints to close the loop faster and get thinking positively. Her first hint is to, “Be Kind to Yourself.” She suggests a…

Apr 16

If not this, then what?

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

Someone I knew years ago, said people are right where they want to be. She was saying that if someone really didn’t want to be married to their spouse, or if they really didn’t like their job, well, they could quit, find another spouse or another job. If they didn’t do these things, then they were just where they wanted to be. Have you found yourself in a situation not to your liking? Do you find yourself wishing you were somewhere else? When we stay there, this becomes a form of noxious negativity, the antithesis of creation. So why do people choose to stay in noxious negativity? Comfort? Lack of courage? Some actually step into victim mode. They complain and say they have no choice. Anyone can break out of this mode with one simple (but possibly scary) question. It is, “If not this, then what?” Once you ask yourself…

Apr 07

Spring Into Mindfulness

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

Creation, it’s all around us, especially this time of year. Starting in March, I take weekly walks with my granddaughter throughout the yard. I point out plants, mostly bulbs that are starting to send dark green leaves above the soil. We look at branches and notice the buds beginning to form on some and no action on others. We notice the weeds that need to be pulled and how leaves have begun to decay and are now a lacy image of what they once were. We notice bugs crawling and birds flying. What inspires us and impels us to take these walks is that next week the scenery has changed subtly in some cases, and wildly in others. The plants we noticed last week may be a little higher, the buds a little more formed, the weeds gone as some yard work has been completed; turn the corner and the…

Mar 13

Does a Positive Attitude Increase Your Good Luck?

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

Luck. It’s all around us this week with St. Patrick’s Day coming up. Can you use some Luck o’ the Irish? Interesting, the term was originally not positive but was used derisively to describe successful miners of Irish descent. The term meant that if an Irish man found gold or silver, it wasn’t due to hard work or brain power, just dumb luck. People have told me I am lucky to do something I love. Huh? It only took tremendous time and resources to obtain a PhD and 23 more years of clinical practice. Not to mention writing books, speaking, networking and marketing. Where we are today has very little to do with good luck and more to do with patience, persistence, and positive attitude. A positive attitude is essential. How likely are you to try something if you tell yourself you can’t succeed? If you have told yourself you…

Mar 09

Change Your Mind to Change Your Attitude

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

Positive Psychology. What does that mean to you? Be happy all the time? Never feel sad, angry, frustrated? Wrong. We are human, we have feelings, lots of them. Feelings are simply our way of registering discontent. Positive Psychology is understanding that we have those feelings and decide to use them constructively, instead of reacting automatically, which can include lashing out. How did lashing out work for you the last time you tried it? You are never wrong about your feelings but you may be wrong about your interpretation or perception of what is behind those feelings. How do you know if your interpretation or perception are off? Try this simple test… Are my feelings of discontent leading me to believe that someone other than me needs to change? If the answer is yes, then you are headed down the wrong road. Your interpretation of those feelings means that you have to…

Mar 02

Go Ahead – Ask Me Why

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

My daughter had a teacher once who told the kids that he was not going to teach them anything they didn’t need to know. There was a purpose behind what he was teaching and if they ever wanted to know why they were learning something he was teaching, they could ask. The students found it liberating to be able to ask, “Why should I learn this material?” Go ahead, you can ask me, “Why should I think positively? Does it really matter?” Yes, and there is science to back up the claim. When we think negatively, a chemical called cortisol, is released into our system. Cortisol shuts down the prefrontal cortex where we do our higher thinking, where we problem solve, and generate empathy, compassion and forgiveness. Just think about not being able to think logically about a problem, not even being able to try to see where another person…