This week has been busy as I am training 11 new Positivity Practitioners. The newsletter this week is from Sue Meintjes, who interviewed me for the wonderful work they are doing to support parents. Click on the link at the bottom of the article to get a ton of information to help you with your parenting. Not a parent? Share with someone who is.
Sue Meintjes
I'm not a fan of swimming in the ocean. I just can't shake the feeling that sharks are gliding around beneath me, waiting for their chance to snack on me.
So when I saw the headline Killer whales deliberately hitting boats off coast of Spain and Portugal earlier today I just had to read the article for further proof that we should stay out of the ocean.
Apparently, over the last year, there has been more than 60 incidents of killer whales, orcas, attacking and destroying boats just off the coast of Spain.
The orca experts were very surprised about this, because normally orcas don't attack humans.
But after researching the situation, they discovered that the young killer whales were imitating an older whale. They found that this older whale had accidentally collided with a boat a while back, which caused her to develop an intense hate for boats.
So she started attacking any boat she saw. And seeing her attack the boats inspired the younger killer whales to do the same, leading to the reason why I won't be visiting Spain in the near future.
Reading about this, I was reminded about how my kids also tend to imitate me when I am my worst.
You know, like when you yell at your son “If you don't pick up your toys I'm taking them away” and then a day later you hear him shout at his sister “If you don't give me your toys I'm taking them away”.
Kids do what we do, instead of what we say they should do.
But the good news is that kids also model our good behavior.
This means that if we want our kids to behave better, instead of trying to change them (very hard), we can work on improving ourselves (slightly less hard).
The other benefit of becoming better at managing your own emotions is that if you can stay calm when your kids upset you, then they will listen more.
Dr. Paul Jenkins explained this as:
“We find as parents, a lot of times, we’ll get frustrated, and we’ll end up yelling. Well, our kids are not listening when we’re yelling. But if we’re smiling, and if we’re detached from the outcomes, then they listen more carefully, and they respond in more positive ways.”
Dr. Jenkins is the author of Pathological Positivity (The Proven Positivity Formula for Personal Development, Parenting, and Relationships) and a child and family psychologist.
In our interview, he shared how “detaching yourself from the outcome” helps your children respond more positively, and what to do when you feel like you cannot detach yourself from the outcome of a situation.
He also explained why having control over your own emotions increases the chances that your kids will cooperate.
You can find the full interview with Dr. Paul Jenkins – How “detaching yourself from the outcome” helps your children respond more positively – here.
Sue Meintjes
I will be back next week.
Take care,