Have you said this before? Has this been said to you?
The phrase is not really helpful itself, but the message could be useful for you.
First of all, when someone says this, they are probably not meaning to be uncompassionate. Don’t take it personally. (You don’t need to pile that hurt on to what you are already dealing with.)
“Just get over it” could be telling you that you need to think about ways that you can deal with the hurt. What would make it better?
Often, when we get stuck, we are experiencing the same feelings over and over again. We need to get out of our routine in order to have new experiences and create new feelings.
If you haven’t been exercising, try taking a walk or a run. This can not only give you some scenery, but you will be invigorating yourself through deep breathing and create some endorphins.
Endorphins can alleviate stress and anxiety, help with depression and stimulate your brain to think, to think in different ways that allow for different solutions to surface.
Try something new that you have been wanting to do for a while. Starting something new will require concentration and could take your brain off the problem that you are dealing with, at least temporarily. The break could be what helps you to figure out your next step.
“Just get over it” could be telling you that you need to give yourself a break from thinking about the problem.
This is not about dealing with your feelings. It is giving yourself some time to not feel so deeply. It is giving your mind and body a break from the heaviness.
Give yourself permission to not think about this for the next half hour. See if that helps you to tackle the problem when the ½ hour is up.
“Just get over it” could mean that it is time to forgive the other person or the situation so you can let go and be happy. This is when I hear, “You don’t understand, they did something really awful.”
When we understand that forgiveness is not telling the other person that what they did was o.k., but more about freeing ourselves to continue on our path then we can at least consider the possibility of forgiveness.
“Just get over it” may be said because your friend or family may feel that what you are dealing with is too big for them, they just do not know what to tell you.
It might be a sign that you need someone else with more knowledge or experience to help you figure it out. It might be time for a coaching session with one of our Live On Purpose Institute Coaches. (Schedule your call at www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall).
There is no timeline for getting over a hurt. Keep the friends and family in your life as your support, but don’t depend on them to solve your problems. They may not have the skills or knowledge to do that.
Let them support you as you take the next steps toward getting over it.
Dr. Paul