“It’s not my fault.”

“I didn’t sign up for this.”

As a psychologist I hear different refrains of this idea over and over.

And I tell those that express the sentiment – you are right!

You didn’t ask for this and it isn’t your fault.

Now, what are you going to do?

We don’t have a choice in what we are faced with (most of the time). We do have a choice in how we react to the event and circumstances.

Here are a few ideas to keep in mind that may help you get out of the, “It’s not my fault,” rut. 

  1. You are not a special case. Yes, everyone is special and things happen to everyone that they did not choose. 
  2. You have a choice. You may not have picked the circumstance, but you have a choice in how you react.
  3. Practice some self-care. When life is not being fair to us, we may need some extra self-care to help us get in a better head space. 
  4. Reframe your thoughts. Ask yourself how you can think differently about what is happening and then see that you have some options. Choose one that leaves you with a more positive mindset.
  5. Make small adjustments. Get out of thinking that you have to “fix” everything right now. You may not have control over how quickly the issue gets resolved so settle in for the long-haul. 

Hopefully these ideas can help you to take you from victim to agent quickly. 

I am working for you and honored to be on your team.