live on purpose – Page 21 – Dr. Paul Jenkins

Feb 12

How To Help A Child With Executive Functioning Problems

By DrPaul M-Power

One of our YouTube viewers asked, "How do you help a child with executive functioning problems?" First off as Vicki and I discuss this, (we both have some experience professionally with the topic), It's important to acknowledge that this is not a diagnosis, and sometimes it's treated that way. When you do a search online for example, “My child has executive functioning disorder,” or whatever it is not an official diagnosis. This is really a description of a certain constellation of challenges or problems that a child has. There are three main areas that it covers. Vicki: The first one might be considered the working memory. How do they remember what tasks they have to do? Can they take what's brought in and stay focused on it long enough to do a task. Paul: Think about the executive suite in a company. You've got the chief executive officer and the…

Feb 11

How To Get A Child To Listen The First Time

By DrPaul M-Power

As parents we have a lot of challenges and one I get asked all the time is, “How do I get my kid(s) to listen the first time I say something?” You know what I mean, not the third, fifth, twelfth or when I lose my cool and yell? I've got 5 tips today that I think will be helpful. Number 1 - learn to think like a child. Sound simple? Well, here is what I mean. Why should your kids listen to you? Now, you've got 12 reasons why they should, but you are an adult, you are a parent. You've got all this life experience and you know all the reasons why they should listen. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about why should your child listen to you? In their mind, why should they from their perspective listen to you? If you can't come up…

Feb 10

How To Help A Child With ADHD Without Medication

By DrPaul M-Power

When I shifted over to positive psychology, I quit giving diagnoses to my clients. I haven't done it in a decade. And yet, my experience in child psychology had me working a lot with children diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, ADHD. Whether your child has a legitimate diagnosis or not, I think some of the principles that we discuss here today are going to be helpful. I'm starting with something that I've reiterated many times. Listen carefully... Your job as a parent is to love them no matter what and even if. We are starting with that because everything else I can share with you is simply manipulation if you lose track of that. That is so key, so essential. Don't be deceived into thinking your job is to make sure that they... anything. Especially with an ADHD child, because you don't have that kind of control. Your job…

Feb 08

The Importance Of Positivity And 5 Ways To Increase It

By DrPaul M-Power

Your brain is created for efficiency and one way it accomplishes this is through neural pathways or programming. Think of cruise control or autopilot. If you want to change your programming, it's going to take some intention and you are going to have to do this intentionally. The first thing that is required is an intentional decision on your part to increase your positivity. It's absolutely possible and I can help you if you decide to become more positive. I can tell if somebody is really serious about a declaration or a decision that they state. It shows up in two specific places in their life. It shows up in their calendar and it shows up in their checkbook. They are willing to spend their time and their money to make this happen. If you are not at that level then you probably don't even have to finish reading this…

Feb 05

How To Motivate A Lazy Teenager

By DrPaul M-Power

Teenagers aren't lazy, they are just really efficient in how they use their time. I'm guessing that since you are the one reading this blog, you are not the lazy teenager, but you may know one. You are probably a parent of one. If you are a teenager and you are wondering what I'm telling your parents, read on, I think this can help you as well. To start, what is your job as a parent? If you have worked with me very long, you know I have one answer to that and we are going to reiterate that right up front. Your job is to love them no matter what and even if. Now most parents say, “Well duh, yeah, of course, I love them.” Don't lose sight of that, your job is to love them no matter what and even if. When you realize your job is not…

Feb 04

What Age Should A Teenage Girl Start Dating?

By DrPaul M-Power

Paul: One of our YouTube viewers recently asked, "What age should a teenage girl start dating?" There's a lot of considerations. Let's go over 4 of those today. You know, Vicki, it's interesting how this comes up in the questions and comments that we get here on the YouTube channel. "What age should I let my daughter start dating?" Vicki: Yeah. Paul: That word let is interesting, isn't it? Vicki: It implies control, and really we can't control at that age what they do. What we do control are the rules, the limitations. Paul: Right. And you as a parent get to set those up. Vicki: Get to "I need to," Paul: And it's your kids that get to decide whether they are going to cooperate with those rules and limits that you have set up as a parent. I think that's an important acknowledgement right up front. Let them?…

Jan 30

Rebuilding A Relationship After A Separation

By DrPaul M-Power

Why are we even having this conversation? Because it's challenging, it's difficult. If you're in a relationship with someone and then a separation occurs, usually that separation is a result of a number of different factors. And you know what they are, right? Oftentimes, it's because there were some difficulties, there were some challenges. Some things came up where at least one party said, "We've got to get some space or some distance here." The nature of a separation itself is problematic because it starts out with usually a problem or a concern. What if this is someone that you want to still have a relationship with despite the problems? I work with a lot of couples for example where they have children together. They run into some marital problems and so they separate to try to work on these problems. They have a reason to get back together because…

Jan 30

How To Deal With The Loss Of A Pet

By DrPaul M-Power

It's one of the most gut-wrenching things I've had to deal with in recent years. How to deal with the loss of a pet. I'm going to approach this topic from two perspectives because you might be considering how you or someone you love is going to deal with the loss of a pet. From a parenting perspective, there are lots of great reasons to have a pet in the first place. Some of those would include that they tend to give us examples of unconditional love and forgiveness. I heard a joke recently about how to tell who truly loves you? You put your spouse and your dog in the trunk of your car, drive around for about an hour, open up the trunk and see who's happy to see you. You know how you can leave for five minutes and come back and your dog is like,…

Jan 27

What You Should Know Before Writing A Book

By DrPaul M-Power

I've now written three books with a few more coming, and I think I know a few things that could save you some time. These three books have taught me a lot about what you need to know in order to write a book or before you write it. The first thing to ask is, “Who is this for? Who is my audience?” That's important because the tone of this book will be dictated by who you think is going to be reading it. The obvious example: If you are writing a children's book, you are going to approach that very differently than if you are going to write a textbook for medical students. Those are pretty diverse audiences. Get clear on who is your audience and that will help you to shape not only your message but the way you deliver the content. I asked who's your audience who's…

Jan 25

How To Stop Worrying About Money

By DrPaul Uncategorized

Money is one of the most common things that people worry about. How do you stop worrying about money? I've got 3 easy steps for you today, and the last one is the most powerful. Step one is understanding worry. We are going to stop worrying about money. Let's understand worry first. What is it? I'm a psychologist, I deal with this all the time. Worry is the negative prediction of what is to be. Think about that for a minute. We all constantly imagining what is coming. It doesn’t exist because we haven't created it yet. Think about that. How you doing next week? You don't know. You have something to do with it. Please remember that, but you don't know. So, the only place that exists right now is in your imagination. Can you imagine things getting worse for you? Just play along with me for a moment.…