You know the type. The person who constantly has drama in their life. They can’t SEEM to get away from it. Things are always happening and it is never their fault. Some people are just wired to feel things more than others, the highs and the lows. They are more excitable and therefore drama seems to follow them around. The drama king or queen in your life can fall anywhere on the spectrum - extreme drama or occasional drama. If you speak Dr. Paul you will probably know the first thing I will tell you is to get clear about what you control and what you don’t. You probably don’t control their drama. You do control how you react to their drama. That gives you the first clue. Don’t react to the drama. Give it as little excitement as possible. This is because some of those who love drama want…
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Half the people studies would rather shock themselves than sit alone in their thoughts.
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Which is right for you? Maybe all three. We are used to making New Year’s Resolutions and for the majority of people, letting them dwindle away like the last piece of confetti falling at midnight. Now, we don’t INTEND to have that happen, but it does. If you haven’t been successful in the past, it is hard to resolve to do something now. And, some people feel overwhelmed with everything going on in their lives and don’t think they can take on another thing, even if it is something necessary. Something that would enrich and bless their lives long-term. There is a way to ease into a resolution. What if you started with a consideration. What if I consider exercising more? What would that look like? How would that happen? What would I need? A consideration is a careful thought over a period of time. Can you see how it…
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Prevent opening mouth and inserting foot with these 5 questions Problems are universal. They might look different, but we all have them. When those problems are shared, well, that’s when it happens. We give advice. It is so plain to see (from our perspective), and it is so clear what the other person should do. So we open our mouths and then… The relationship goes south. There is a way to save you the pain and agony that comes next. Be clear by asking yourself, “Was the advice requested?” If they aren’t asking for advice, they will reject it, so don’t give the advice, it’s a waste of time. They might just be venting and need to do so to become clear on what their next steps may be. If there is a clear request for advice, then ask yourself, “Am I emotionally invested in the outcome?” This makes clear…
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As a psychologist, I talk to people who are struggling with different things. One of the saddest things I have had to deal with is the aftermath of someone dying due to suicide. Last week this hit close to home with people I know and recently a YouTube Comment made me think that it might be time we address this important issue again. The viewer said her family was doing their best to have a Merry Christmas and continue on after the death of her father-in-law due to suicide. She said it was a surprise and she always thought of her father-in-law as a happy person. The aftermath of suicide leaves us with so many feelings, sadness, anger, and failure are among some of them. I told my viewer that I was glad her family was looking to the future and trying to have a Merry Christmas. Whether she knew…
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A reader of my blog recently responded to an article I had written about conducting the Great Christmas Experience Experiment. The post talked about how we can make the holidays in 2020 memorable when so many of our normal activities have been canceled. The reader asked, what about those of us who are alone? A recent statistic said that one in 5 people may be alone this Christmas. This is for a variety of reasons, one major being the pandemic. If you are alone, how can you make this Christmas memorable and not lonely? (Or, if you know someone who will be alone this Christmas, you may get an idea of what you can do for them.) Here are a few ideas to get you started. Celebrate how you want. You can be traditional, or throw traditions out the window and do something you have never done before.Consider having at…
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In year’s past, many people at this time of year would begin complaining about the stress of the holidays. There are Christmas parties to plan and attend. And, what am I going to wear, add shopping at the mall for new clothes. There are cookies to bake for the neighborhood exchange. There are appointments to make for Santa pictures. There are Holiday concerts to attend. And all the in-laws are coming into town this year. Wait, none of that is happening. Or very little. If you choose, there are still cards to send, gifts to give, lights to put up, homes to decorate. Or not. This year we have a chance to make our holidays less stressful, without looking like the Grinch. What if instead of mourning all the things we can’t do this Christmas or Holiday Season, we viewed it as an opportunity to conduct an experiment? A Christmas…
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