Dr Paul Jenkins

Feb 19

School-Based Crime Prevention Programs

By DrPaul M-Power

School-based crime prevention programs can be enormously effective and I’ll give you a few reasons why that is the case. ‘Twas a dangerous cliff, as they freely confessed, Though to walk near its crest was so pleasant. But over its terrible edge there had slipped A duke and full many a peasant. So the people said something would have to be done, But their projects did not at all tally, Some said, ‘ Put a fence ’round the edge of the cliff’; Some, ‘An ambulance down in the valley.’ This is the beginning of a poem that was written over 100 years ago about prevention and how effective it is to prevent people from falling off of the cliff instead of just having an ambulance down in the valley. I’ll share the rest of the poem with you at the end of the article. I’m a member of the board…

Feb 17

Love0

How To Teach Kids Table Manners?

By DrPaul M-Power

Paul: So, Vicki, here’s the thing. Kids don’t come pre-programmed to follow all of your rules and especially when it comes to something like table manners. Vicki: All manners are learned. Paul: If you don’t believe this, just watch your animals. Vicki: Well… Remember that manners are really more related to our culture. Paul: Manners require a higher level of functioning too, because it has a lot of social innuendo that’s woven into it. There’s a lot of complexity that goes into manners, etiquette rules of behavior that affect how we interact with other people. Kids don’t come by it naturally, so we teach them. Vicki: Yep. We have to explicitly teach table manners. Paul: Years ago I got to sing in a choir, and we were singing a song about children. The recurring theme in the song was, “How will they know unless we teach them?” Vicki: Right. Paul:…

Feb 16

Love0

How Do You Improve A Child’s Concentration?

By DrPaul M-Power

Paul: We have both had some experience with this. Vicki, I know you have. How do you improve a child’s concentration? We have a number of ideas for you. First, maybe a disclaimer. Concentration can be affected by a lot of different factors. Vicki: And it’s kind of hard to figure out just what is affecting your child. Paul: It really can be. We are going to share some ideas with you, but be open to other solutions as well. Sometimes you need a little extra help. I have felt as a psychologist working primarily with children and families that we tend to over diagnose conditions like ADHD, for example. Sometimes when a child is having a hard time concentrating, it’s really easy to jump to the diagnosis. Well, it may or may not be a true diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. So, let’s just put that on a…

Feb 14

Love0

How To Love Yourself: Three Powerful Ways

By DrPaul M-Power

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our jobs as parents or in our relationships and we are really good at loving people but not so good at loving ourselves. I have three powerful steps that you take to love yourself. I really like to think of love as a choice and as a verb, more than a feeling or a description. I think those things are certainly included in our conceptualization of love. What if we were to look at it as a choice first? Every interaction we have is going to fall on one side or the other. I don’t think there’s a neutral option. I think it’s going to be either love or hate. And I use the word hate because people hate that word. Honestly, what’s the opposite of love, anyway? Well, that is where hate comes in. Let’s get in line on one side or…

Feb 12

Love0

How To Help A Child With Executive Functioning Problems

By DrPaul M-Power

One of our YouTube viewers asked, “How do you help a child with executive functioning problems?” First off as Vicki and I discuss this, (we both have some experience professionally with the topic), It’s important to acknowledge that this is not a diagnosis, and sometimes it’s treated that way. When you do a search online for example, “My child has executive functioning disorder,” or whatever it is not an official diagnosis. This is really a description of a certain constellation of challenges or problems that a child has. There are three main areas that it covers. Vicki: The first one might be considered the working memory. How do they remember what tasks they have to do? Can they take what’s brought in and stay focused on it long enough to do a task. Paul: Think about the executive suite in a company. You’ve got the chief executive officer and the…

Feb 11

Love0

How To Get A Child To Listen The First Time

By DrPaul M-Power

As parents we have a lot of challenges and one I get asked all the time is, “How do I get my kid(s) to listen the first time I say something?” You know what I mean, not the third, fifth, twelfth or when I lose my cool and yell? I’ve got 5 tips today that I think will be helpful. Number 1 – learn to think like a child. Sound simple? Well, here is what I mean. Why should your kids listen to you? Now, you’ve got 12 reasons why they should, but you are an adult, you are a parent. You’ve got all this life experience and you know all the reasons why they should listen. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about why should your child listen to you? In their mind, why should they from their perspective listen to you? If you can’t come up…

Feb 10

Love0

How To Help A Child With ADHD Without Medication

By DrPaul M-Power

When I shifted over to positive psychology, I quit giving diagnoses to my clients. I haven’t done it in a decade. And yet, my experience in child psychology had me working a lot with children diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, ADHD. Whether your child has a legitimate diagnosis or not, I think some of the principles that we discuss here today are going to be helpful. I’m starting with something that I’ve reiterated many times. Listen carefully… Your job as a parent is to love them no matter what and even if. We are starting with that because everything else I can share with you is simply manipulation if you lose track of that. That is so key, so essential. Don’t be deceived into thinking your job is to make sure that they… anything. Especially with an ADHD child, because you don’t have that kind of control. Your job…

Feb 08

Love0

The Importance Of Positivity And 5 Ways To Increase It

By DrPaul M-Power

Your brain is created for efficiency and one way it accomplishes this is through neural pathways or programming. Think of cruise control or autopilot. If you want to change your programming, it’s going to take some intention and you are going to have to do this intentionally. The first thing that is required is an intentional decision on your part to increase your positivity. It’s absolutely possible and I can help you if you decide to become more positive. I can tell if somebody is really serious about a declaration or a decision that they state. It shows up in two specific places in their life. It shows up in their calendar and it shows up in their checkbook. They are willing to spend their time and their money to make this happen. If you are not at that level then you probably don’t even have to finish reading this…

Feb 05

Love0

How To Motivate A Lazy Teenager

By DrPaul M-Power

Teenagers aren’t lazy, they are just really efficient in how they use their time. I’m guessing that since you are the one reading this blog, you are not the lazy teenager, but you may know one. You are probably a parent of one. If you are a teenager and you are wondering what I’m telling your parents, read on, I think this can help you as well. To start, what is your job as a parent? If you have worked with me very long, you know I have one answer to that and we are going to reiterate that right up front. Your job is to love them no matter what and even if. Now most parents say, “Well duh, yeah, of course, I love them.” Don’t lose sight of that, your job is to love them no matter what and even if. When you realize your job is not…

Feb 04

Love0

What Age Should A Teenage Girl Start Dating?

By DrPaul M-Power

Paul: One of our YouTube viewers recently asked, “What age should a teenage girl start dating?” There’s a lot of considerations. Let’s go over 4 of those today. You know, Vicki, it’s interesting how this comes up in the questions and comments that we get here on the YouTube channel. “What age should I let my daughter start dating?” Vicki: Yeah. Paul: That word let is interesting, isn’t it? Vicki: It implies control, and really we can’t control at that age what they do. What we do control are the rules, the limitations. Paul: Right. And you as a parent get to set those up. Vicki: Get to “I need to,” Paul: And it’s your kids that get to decide whether they are going to cooperate with those rules and limits that you have set up as a parent. I think that’s an important acknowledgement right up front. Let them?…

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