I Love You Too Much To Argue

By February 18, 2009 One Comment

Conflicts are a natural part of life.  The very thing that makes us interesting to each other (our differences) also creates the opportunity for conflict because of differing opinions, values, views, or preferences.  This is also true between parents and children, especially as kids begin to assert their independence.  Jim Fay, author of Parenting With Love and Logic, shared with our Parental Power group yesterday that there are some things you control and some things you don’t.  There is no value in arguing with your kids.  When they try to draw you into an argument, simply respond with “I love you too much to argue” and then figure out what you control and what you don’t.  If you have kids, you would really appreciate this interview – http://www.parental-power.com/2009/02/17/parental-power-with-love-and-logic/


Three grand essentials to happiness in this life

Are something to do, something to love,

And something to hope for..

       Joseph Addison


P.S.  If you live in or around Utah County, I want to see you at our “A More Perfect Union” date night for couples on Saturday! – http://amoreperfectunion2.eventbrite.com

Join the discussion One Comment

  • Angella Joy says:

    This is so refreshing to hear from the professionals. I’ve believed this all my life and coming from a large disfunctional family, I literally had an emotional shut-down whenever I heard arguing. I have concluded that my own children will be allowed constructive debate…up to the point where it gets heated…and then I will cut it off. I want them to learn that expressions of opinion are ok…and that differences can be discussed..even with humor, but when it get’s to name calling and personal attacks, it is no longer a valueable discussion. Younger children won’t understand this reasoning and have to see a mirror of positive discussion methods from their parents. Teens love to excercise their will and try to push each other’s buttons to see where it will lead. This is natural. But they need to have an internal shut-off valve when they can tell that a line has been crossed. I have to establish that. I want my kids to know that pathological debaters are insecure. They want to start a fight to prove they can win at something. It is an addiction to negativity and seems fun to the verbal bullies who think this should be their identity…but soon end up with few friends and a shallow social life. Sadly, I am encountering weekly an adult segment of society that has never grown out of the need to constantly prove they are right…by starting or exaserbating any given point of conversation around them. Isn’t it exhausting? I just don’t have the energy! I prefer to keep it simple. I prefer to leave on a high note. I prefer to stay friends. Criticalness is at the heart of the insecure debater. they over examine everything in order to point out some jot or tittle that might make them sound more intelligent. I just want to change the subject or leave the room when banter of this nature heats up a discussion. True intelligence knows when a topic is worth bringing up, and when it is a cover-up.

    oh… I’m on a rant now! lol