“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be lived.”Søren Kierkegaard
Many of us have calendars, to-do lists, messages, reminders, and notifications. I have them too. Many of these have to do with problems that need solutions. If you are only focusing on problems, it is easy to slide into noxious negativity and forget that life is to be lived.
There are ups and downs in life. We need to hold onto both, not allowing one to overshadow the other.
Here are some tips that may help to keep balanced.
- Take a break from the problem. Some problems are big and won't be fixed by a trip to the hardware store for a part. Some problems will last for years. Tell yourself that for now you have done enough and push the pause button so you can see the awesome things happening around you.
- Look back on past problems and see how they were resolved. This can help you to know that the problem is temporary, it will go away. This also gives us some confidence that we will be able to get through what we are experiencing.
- Use positive self-talk. When you are talking about the problem, avoid using terms like, “This is going to destroy me.” “I am not smart enough to figure this out.” Reframe your thoughts. “I have done hard things before and I will be able to get through this.” “I don't have all the answers yet, but I will get them.”
- Ask for help. We aren't required to have all the answers and skills in life to do everything. That is why we all choose different vocations in life, to help one another. Even if that help is a shoulder to cry on, that may be enough for now. We should not expect others to solve our problems or dump them on someone else, but there are times when a listening ear and warm hug will be enough.
Whatever you are struggling with, please know you can get through this, you are enough and you are awesome.