How to use psychology to be happy now. Happiness is a choice - this is how and why.
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Time management? That is a misnomer. We can't really manage it can we? We can measure it, spend it, and watch it pass, but we can't save it, control it, or manage it. How will we spend it? When we spend our time on the activities that are ultimately most valuable to us, we have a right to happiness and peace. Please take three and a half minutes to see a million dollar example of this principle. http://youtu.be/2VPB2Jxx2Io Spend it wisely! Wake up with a smile and go after life. Live it, enjoy it, taste it, smell it, feel it. ~Joe Knapp
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David and Brenda have scheduled an appointment for some Pathologically Positive coaching. They are trying to save their twenty five year marriage. As is the case with far too many long-term couples, they are on the brink of divorce. There’s no real problem – and that is the problem. Brenda explains that she just doesn’t love David any more. She is pretty sure that he doesn’t love her either. David counters by telling me (not Brenda), “That’s silly. Of course I love her. She knows I love her.” Apparently, David is dead wrong about her knowing. Consider the oft’ told story of an elderly couple driving along together in their old Dodge pickup to the country store. Early in their marriage, this weekly trip was an anticipated outing where they would chat happily about the kids, the farm, a new calf. Now, in their later years, it has become a…
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Positivity is a practical approach to solve every problem. Pathological Positivity is not ignoring or avoiding reality, but intentionally and doggedly insisting on seeing possibilities in problems and finding or creating constructive tools to handle inevitable challenges.
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What is the biggest barrier to success, happiness, great relationships? Anxiety and fear. Try this experiment: - Take in a deep, slow, intentional breath through your nose. - Hold that breath for a moment, allowing yourself to feel the stretch. - Release slowly, through the mouth. - Repeat two or three more times. Notice what happens? This is like a physiological switch on the brain that calms the fight or flight response. This in turn restores blood flow to parts of the brain that are used in thinking, problem solving, rational thought. In My Anxiety Answer, the first step is to calm the brain's fight or flight response through breathing. The second is to steer the mind in a more productive direction. That first step, breathing, seems so simple. A client of mine said recently, "I don't see how that solves anything." Calming our brain's natural fight or flight response doesn't…
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While working on my book, I get a craving for the smell and taste of freshly baked bread. I still have my mom’s recipe and a few hours on my hands so I head into the kitchen. Part way through the process, I get waylaid by my daughter tempting me to play a game with her. The bread raises twice as much as I intend and is all over the oven by the time I realize the problem. Irreversible error. Houston, we've got a problem. I bake it anyway. At least we get to enjoy the smell. My wife attempts to console me with praise for my feeble effort. As the bread, if you can even call it that, comes out of the oven, I feel a compounded let-down. It looks worse than I expected. Vicki helps clean up the mess. It smells great. We pick at the ugly twisted but surprisingly…
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Following the devastating events at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown Connecticut, a number of friends, clients, even strangers, approach me wondering how to deal with this tragedy. The conversations focus initially on the Sandy Hook tragedy itself, then generally expand to address the question of how to deal with tragedy and trauma in general. My initial observation – and suggestion – is that until we know individually what to do, we simply pay attention not just to the tragedy, but the amazing way humans intuitively respond to such difficult things – and take heart from what we observe. Yes, it was a dark day in Newtown, as it was in Columbine, as it was on 9-11. Yet within those days of darkness we also see something else. Light. Light following immediately on the heels of the darkness. Light rushing in from all over the world to dispel the overwhelming darkness.…
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When you turn on a flashlight, you see a little spot of light projected wherever you point the device. Have you ever seen a flashdark? This is a device that projects a little spot of dark wherever you point it. Not! Similarly, what happens when you open a dark closet in a brightly lit room? The darkness rushes out and fills the room? No. The light rushes in to displace the darkness. It always goes that direction. Light always has the power to displace darkness. Darkness happens. Boston, Sandy Hook, 9-11... As our hearts and prayers go out to those affected by darkness, we also see emerging from these tragedies inspiring stories of love, caring, and human goodness. There will always be those who bring dark. Those who bring light win. There is no such thing as a flashdark. Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear…
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Is there a program or process that propels us predictably to unprecedented personal power, productivity, and profit? Yes. Pathological Positivity. Our planet is plagued with a pandemic of poisonous pessimism. The popular perception of painful or perturbing problems is pathogenically paralyzing. Pathological Positivity programs and positions us to perceive positive possibilities in problems. It inspires and provokes people to apply positive principles and practices even in paralyzing predicaments. Pathological Positivity isn’t just a program or philosophy, it is a personal preference. It is a programmed proclivity to purposefully opt for the positive from a plethora of possible perceptions. This promotes powerful productivity and profit. Pandemic, pestilent and pernicious pessimism is pummeled into powder as professionals apply and promote pathologically positive paradigms. The payoff is phenomenal prosperity. What lies behind us, and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson Image courtesy of twobee/FreeDigitalPhotos.net about…
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Questions are power tools of change. Power tools work best when plugged in and turned on. Sometimes the questions we ask are not really questions. My friend and creative editor, Tom Cantrell, called me on this recently when he asked, "Was that a question, or a statement disguised as a question?" Here's a common example: "How can I be happy with all of this going on?" That's not a bad question, if it is used as a question. Normally a question like this really means, "I can't be happy with all of this going on" - it is a statement disguised as a question. Another example is in my last message - "What could possibly be good about this?" Another great question, if you stay plugged in to the question. "Nothing could possibly be good about this" is the statement that sometimes gets into that question's disguise. Plug in the power - turn it back into a question and get…
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