We've all wondered it from time to time how do you get someone to like you. You know what? I learned this from some little kids. I've shared with you before that I spent (Wow) probably 12 or 13 years of my career doing child custody evaluations. I did a lot of psychological evaluations and interviews with children, little kids. And they taught me so much. I used to have this instrument that I would use with children called a sentence completion test. And it's not really a test. It's more of an exercise to pry out some of their thinking. There are sentence stems and then there's a blank at the end. And you read the stem to them and they fill in the blank. And one of these was "To make friends, you have to..." Now, how did you answer that? You know what? Over 90% of the…
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Paul: We are not going to jump into all of the psychological aspects of listening so much as the actual mechanics and skills that are associated with listening, and I have Vicki helping me with this as she works will this all the time. Vicki: There is something called central auditory processing. That is where kid's hearing is just fine but for some reason when they hear an instruction or whatever it gets kind of jumbled and they don't know how to process it. Paul: Yeah, the lights are on but nobody's home. Vicki: Yeah, well a little bit. That is kind of few and far between. A lot of children have a hard time listening. It is a skill. I don't know if you've ever googled those videos of the baby who has not had hearing and then they get their first cochlear implant. And they map it and…
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Fear and anxiety are probably the biggest barriers to our success and happiness. Fear, anxiety, and nervousness are very common human experiences but, it's something that gets in our way. And sometimes robs us of our joy and success. Now, to understand this, let's just take a look first at the role that fear plays in our lives. It's not a bad thing, okay? If we had no fear, what would happen? Now, you might think if you're an entrepreneur or if you are a very creative person who wants to accomplish some phenomenal things that you could get those things done if you had no fear. But honestly, what if you had no fear at all? We come to this earth with fears built in to keep us safe. One of the natural fears that we all have for example is a fear of heights or a fear of…
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Give me a few short minutes here today and I can help you improve communication in your marriage. Let's start with the basic communication model that I teach in leadership training, in couple’s seminars in anything that involves communication. It starts with an understanding of where the message is going. Start with a sender of the message. If it's a verbal communication, this is the speaker. If it's radio and television, this is the point of origin for the signal. And then it goes over to a receiver. The message travels from the sender to the receiver and in verbal communication this is the speaker and the listener. Let's say that the sender has message A in mind. This is what I want to communicate to you, if you are the receiver. What happens first? First, the sender has to encode the message. So, encoding is the way that the…
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For a video of this post, go to Live On Purpose TV at YouTube.
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Do what you love for those who love what you do. I honestly believe that this is the sweet spot for entrepreneurs or other producer minded people. Let’s breakdown the phrase into two elements because it gets thrown around sometimes and discounted even though there is a lot of value there. First is doing what you love just because you love it enough of a reason to make that your life’s work? Dan Sullivan talks about this in his program, The Strategic Coach. He said when you really hit your sweet spot, you meet four criteria: *Number one, you have passion for what you're doing. You love it. *Number two, you have exceptional skill in that area. So, your sweet spot has to include both. The passion and the skill. *Number three, it adds energy to your life. And this quite frankly is one of the reasons why psychologically it…
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A common and really important question. How to discipline your child with love? Okay, Live On Purpose parents, quick review. What is your job? Your job as a parent is to love them no matter what and even if. Disciplining with love, you know what? I don't even think that it's truly discipline unless it's done with love. If it's something else, it's some kind of domination. Love is an essential part of the equation. Now, can I put this into context for you? Because all the research that we've done over the years in psychology leads to the same conclusion. This is the most common finding that you can find in child development literature. There are 2 things that are necessary for a child to be well-adjusted and stable in their life. Those 2 things are love and discipline. There are different words that are used in the different…
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Let's do a definition to start this off. Moral: Concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human character. Moral decision-making is basically how do we decide to do what we do based on whether it's right or wrong. And we understand what's right or wrong based on our culture, our training, our upbringing. All of these things tend to shape our moral decision-making. But there's something that goes even deeper than that and maybe you'll relate with me here on this. I believe that ingrained in human beings is what I sometimes call a natural knowing. It's the ability to connect with something that is true naturally. I had an opportunity for a while to run treatment groups at a youth correctional facility. Now, this is a place where young people had been incarcerated for decisions that they had made. I noticed…
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We know there are things we should never say to a child, but, since I am the positivity guy, it might be nice to tell you what you should say to your children. This came from early in my career when I was introduced to Foster Klein and Jim Fay, the guys who created “Parenting With Love and Logic.” As I was listening to a presentation they were giving, they said something that has stuck with me all of these years. Tell your kids you love them. That is number 1 on our list. I love you no matter what and even if. There is nothing that you need to do in order to qualify for my love. Find some way to say that to your kids every day. They need to hear it, they need to feel it. It doesn't have to be specifically in those words, you might…
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