I've prepared four strategies to help you overcome your fear of public speaking. It's actually one of the most common fears. On lists of fears that we have looked at or researched, public speaking comes in ahead of death in terms of what people fear. Jerry Seinfeld picked this up and he said, "You know what that means is the guy giving the eulogy would rather be in the box." But you know what? It's not the fear of public Speaking so much as the fear of not speaking well in public. Think about what I'm saying you are not really afraid of speaking. You are afraid of speaking poorly. That will give us some clues as to what you can do to overcome that fear. Dale Dixon is a friend of mine in the National Speakers Association. He wrote a book called, “Sweating Bullets.” It's all about what we…
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Whether it is you having problems with stubbornness, or someone you know, it is helpful to start with the root cause of stubbornness. I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that it's pride. I don't mean a healthy sense of who you are. I'm talking about destructive pride, where you know that you are right. It's not that you think you are right. No. It’s a whole different level. You KNOW you are right. And because of that, you get stuck. People are stubborn and don’t want to move from the position of being right. Let me tell a story to illustrate what I mean. This is personal, because yes, I know that I'm right too. A friend of mine, Dr. Cameron Mosher had suggested that I attend his course. It's a ropes course, a skill-building course. I had been avoiding Dr. Cam for years because…
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Our parents never had to deal with this question when we were kids because the world has changed. Is screen time dangerous for kids? Paul: There is actually a lot of studies coming out that are showing that yeah, there are some negative effects of too much screen time. But you know what? I think it's important to recognize it's not the screens that are the problem. But they are kind of like fire. I like this analogy. You know, Vicki how there was a time when our kids were little when there was a little fire that erupted? Vicki: Paul: Do you remember this? And fire is dangerous, right? It can burn down your house. It can consume a forest or even an entire community. We've seen this in the news from time to time. So, is fire a bad thing? No. Fire is a powerful thing. We make…
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Working with teens can be a real challenge. This post is for teens, to let them know how to improve their relationship with their parents. Paul: You know, Vic, when I'm working with families about this, the place that I always want to start is with an understanding of parent psychology. Vicki: Parent psychology for the youth? Paul” Yeah. Wouldn't it be helpful? If you are a young person, think about it. Wouldn't it be helpful to know how your parents are thinking? What is going on in their mind? Vicki: Is that possible? I'm curious, what is parent psychology? Paul: Okay. So, this is interesting because we've done a lot of videos on our You Tube Channel, Live On Purpose TV, for parents about the three stages of moral development. This is parent psychology. Parents think in a very predictable way and judge where their kids are depending on…
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Do you have busy energetic children? We've got 4 hacks for rambunctious kids. Paul: I love that my job is to illuminate the obvious. Some obvious things are totally unnoticed and I think this is important to notice. Children's work is? Vicki: Play. Paul: Right. So, here is hack number 1: Play with your kids. Get down on the floor with them. Don't be afraid to interact with them on their level. I've found at least in my practice, and Vicki, maybe you can back this up in the kids that you have worked with, that sometimes kids become a little more hyper, a little more rambunctious when they are trying to get the kind of attention that they are really craving. Vicki: Definitely! Paul: As parents, we have other things to worry about. I mean, we need to take care of the house and earn some money to pay…
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So I'm touting positivity all the time, I'm the positivity shrink. Negativity actually affects our brain in real ways and we have a choice to be positive or negative. Where is your thinking? The first video I released on my YouTube Channel, Live On Purpose TV, talked about how to stay positive no matter what. I will link to the video at the end of the post. Our mind is constantly evaluating and creating depending on our current situation. We generate either a positive or a negative emotion or feeling. That emotion or feeling sets us up for what we are going to do in creation mode, where and how we move forward. Review the video and you'll get a good sense of what the model is all about. Here is the short version, is my life good or is my life bad? Now that's oversimplified and nobody really thinks…
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Maybe I should just sing you a lullaby. Would that help? No, probably not. I'm a psychologist. I want to help you understand how to calm your mind down before sleep. Let's take a look at the 4 main culprits that disturb your sleep and then we will come up with a strategy for each one. The four culprits that disturb sleep the most are: Alcohol Caffeine Blue light, (maybe that one surprised you), and Anxiety (that one didn't surprise you) I attended a professional conference not too long ago with Dr. Preston out of Stanford University. Dr. Preston shared with us these culprits that disturb our sleep, and that particularly get in the way with our stage 4 sleep. Stage 4 is the deeper levels of sleep that tends to be restorative. As he shared these findings, he also shared something that we can do about each one of…
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Paul: Make sure you are in the right place, because if you are a perfect parent, this is not for you. This planet is populated with imperfect people. In fact, I think that's perfect. I have a little mantra and I do this with my clients. Vicki, you've heard this before. You are perfectly designed to be imperfect. Vicki: Yeah. Paul: It's part of our innate, I think divine design, that we have imperfections, we have weaknesses. There's a reason for that. In fact, there's a lot of reasons for that. But it's something that bothers us a lot, too. Vicki: Right. Paul: And we've got some advice for you today as an imperfect parent. First of all, welcome to earth. You are in good company. Every other parent on the planet is also imperfect. And so, let's just lighten up a little bit, shall we? Vicki: Embrace it a…
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I am going to share with you my direct experience in how to actually start a life coaching business. Since you're here, I can tell a few things about you already because the people who are looking for this kind of information are already feeling called to do something. Now, I use the word called because that's the word I hear from a lot of the people that I'm mentoring and training as life coaches. They feel driven to do this work. They have a story or a message that is so important that they just really feel called to present it to people so that it makes a difference for them. And if that is true for you, I think you're probably in the right place. If you're feeling called to this, you can't ignore it. It's something that will continue to hound you and knock at your mind…
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It's kind of sad actually that there are enough people looking for this that we need to address it. My job here is to illuminate some things. I want you to notice some things. I am NOT here to tell you how to think. But I do want you to notice that you are thinking and this is going to change some things for you. Let's dig into the psychology behind that and see what we might be able to discover. This was first brought to my attention through Eckhart Tolle. He's a philosopher and an author and he wrote a book called The Power Of Now, which I really enjoyed. In that book, he shared a time that he was going through in his own life where he was dealing with some self-hatred, which is kind of weird when you think about it. He pointed this out. He got…
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