Blog – Page 18 – Dr. Paul Jenkins

Oct 20

Stop Frustration in Its Tracks

By DrPaul M-Power

Frustration is a real emotion and as we discussed in our last email, it is an emotion that often leads to a secondary emotion - anger. Anger is such an active emotion and when we lash out in anger, we don’t get the desired result we are after. Anger often gets us into more trouble than if we just dealt with the primary emotion, FRUSTRATION. Frustration has to do with a belief. We believe that things are not the way they should be so we feel frustrated. Does that ring true to you? My kids aren’t doing what they should be doing. The economy is not doing what it should be doing. The government is not doing what it was set up to do. My spouse is not doing… Do you see where this is headed? Have you had any of these thoughts? I have mentioned my friend Doug Nielsen…

Oct 15

Why Am I So Grouchy?

By DrPaul M-Power

Who are some of your favorite grouches? Oscar the Grouch? Archie Bunker? Eeyore? Sheldon Cooper? Maxine? Scrooge? The Grinch? Frank Costanza? You? Ouch, I hope the last one doesn’t ring true, but I get asked all the time, how do I stop being angry all the time? Anger is a secondary emotion. It usually follows another emotion like frustration or disappointment. So then, why do we switch to anger? Because anger is an active emotion. We know what to do with anger. You know how to throw your arms up the air. You know how to mean mug. You know the body language. You know how to YELL. You know how to strike out. It isn’t as obvious as what to do with sadness or loss. That emotion is not as active. We sulk, we cry, we sit. See, not as much expression and why we use the secondary emotion…

Oct 12

Failure is not the Opposite of Success

By DrPaul M-Power

It’s International Day of Failure. Did you catch that? International! We could change it to global. EVERYONE makes mistakes and those mistakes can lead us to feel like a failure. Why, if everyone makes mistakes do we jump to failure? As a professional psychologist, can I tell you that you are never wrong about how you feel? How you feel is 100% consistent with how you think. Feelings are a natural consequence of our thought patterns. Our thoughts lead to our feelings and that should give you a hint on where to start overcoming the feelings of failure. We think of success as attaining or arriving at a goal. Failure is not the opposite of success, it is part of it. Dr. John Maxwell wrote a book called, “Failing Forward.” I love that title. Does it change how you feel about failing? Robert Kiyosaki wrote, “Rich Dad, Poor Dad.” He…

Oct 08

Why Principles are Crucial

By DrPaul M-Power

I recently had a viewer comment on one of my parenting videos about helping children understand consequences that he was watching to get help with his wife. She just couldn’t understand that there are consequences to her actions. It isn’t the first time I have had a comment like this and this guy understood something that is vital to helping us get better results. It is all about the principle. Principles are rules that when followed will lead us to the results we want. Not immediately, but down the road. There are leadership principles, management principles, business principles, ethical principles, moral principles, financial principles, even parenting principles. Principles govern our lives, whether we know it or not. Discovering those principles, then applying them, will lead us to the results we want. Principles don’t change, how we apply them depends on the situation, the ages of those involved and what kind…

Oct 02

5 Clues to Know if You are on the Path to Excellence

By DrPaul M-Power

Have you ever wondered if you are on the right path? The path that will lead to excellence in your life? There are 5 clues that will help you determine if the path you are on is the one that is meant for you. Number 1, do you feel called to the work you are doing? When you have the feeling that what you are doing is your life’s work, you are excited, it lights you up. It is what helps you get through the muck, knowing that this is what you are meant to do. Number 2, You love whatever it is that you are engaged in. You're passionate about it. It adds energy to your life. Live On Purpose TV, Live On Purpose Central and Live On Purpose Radio are the things that get me up in the morning. I love opening up possibilities for people who didn't…

Oct 01

Lessons from Oatmeal and ABC’s

By DrPaul M-Power

I was watching some preschoolers play the other day and I think there are a few lessons we can learn from them on how to adult. When I first started watching them, the teacher had directed them to a discovery center and she had put alphabet letters in some oatmeal (dry, not cooked). The kids had scoops and as they scooped, they discovered there were some letters in the oatmeal. They were then to find the letter on the alphabet strip next to the discovery center and put the letter there. The kids did this for a while and found most of the letters, but not all. Then they took some cars that were near the center and began running their cars in the oatmeal and making up all sorts of scenarios and knocking into one another, and driving on again. I thought about the kids and how they readily…

Sep 28

Challenges the Ultimate Game-Changer

By DrPaul M-Power

I was watching a video on Instagram that my friend and colleague, Camilita Nuttal and her husband posted. They were celebrating their 15th wedding anniversary and their business successes. They outlined some basic principles to their success. If you know me at all, you know I love principles. Principles are powerful, they are life changers. Once we discover the principle, we can apply it to any area of our life. Principles don’t change and they are a better predictor of outcomes than anything else I know of. If you don’t own a business, stay with me for a bit to see how their business principle can apply to you. As Camilita and her husband were reflecting on their struggles to get their businesses going, (yes, they have 4!), they shared how really hard it was and many times they thought, “When is it going to happen for me?” Many times…

Sep 25

Ideas on How To Be A Better Husband and Father

By DrPaul M-Power

There has been a lot going on in 2020. I am hearing from lots of people that their homes are not running exactly how they have in years past. Many parents are still working from home, and kids have less activities and some are experiencing remote learning. This can put a lot of pressure on parents and I am hearing from a lot of moms. They are being asked to do more and more. Have more involvement in their child’s education, (daily guidance for some) and keeping the kids active and engaged. Dad’s we can play a huge role in helping our kids and our wives. I have a few ideas for you to consider. I remember taking a little walk with my kids one day through the house. And we identified things that were not in their place. If you have kids you know what I mean, there are…

Sep 21

Contronyms and 2020

By DrPaul M-Power

I was told a long time ago that words have meaning. I have always loved words whose meanings contradict one another. These are called contronyms or Janus words. Janus is the two-faced Roman God and these auto-antonyms are named after him. Here are a few: Fast: It can mean to stay put or to go quickly Sanction: Can mean approval of something, or to restrict Strike: Can mean to hit something (like knock down all the pins in bowling), or totally miss something, (like the ball in baseball) And, one of my favorites: Cleave: You can be bound together or divide Now, when I give you the next contronym just register how it feels to you: Anxious Did you jump to feeling nervous or hesitant? Or did you go to wanting something very much, determinedly wishing for something? Most often, I hear the term anxious used as in anxiety, someone…

Sep 16

How to Stop Overthinking: the natural state of your mind

By DrPaul M-Power

How to stop overthinking? Ever wonder what space sounds like? I have never been there, but I have heard it is quiet. We are going to do that today, create some space (in your head). This may sound silly, but first, notice that you are thinking. This is a process I call metacognition. Cognition means thinking. Metacognition is a higher level. It's thinking about thinking. Notice that. One of my colleagues said, "Hey, Paul. Every problem that we have is a problem with thinking." That's a bold statement. But as I've considered my colleague’s statement, I think he might be right. Every problem I can think of comes down to a problem with thinking. Anything that occurs to us is technically a neutral event. That's going to sound a little foreign to you unless you've already had a chance to think about that. Everything that happens is a neutral event.…