Once a drama queen, always a drama queen? That crown can get a bit heavy and difficult to maintain as you burn through friendships and jobs. These hints should help you to lose the crown without losing your head! If you find drama whirling around you like a tornado, own it. Drama doesn’t happen without you buying into it. Figure out where the need for attention comes from. (Hint, a dispassionate third party might be needed to help you here). 2. Creating drama is often a way to seek control or to prove yourself right. That person ALWAYS fights with me. So, you pick a fight, or you spread some inflammatory gossip in a way you know will get back to that person and they will attack. See! They fight with me. (Ahem, who really started the fight?) 3. Drama occurs when people tell lies or mislead others to think…
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You know the type. The person who constantly has drama in their life. They can’t SEEM to get away from it. Things are always happening and it is never their fault. Some people are just wired to feel things more than others, the highs and the lows. They are more excitable and therefore drama seems to follow them around. The drama king or queen in your life can fall anywhere on the spectrum - extreme drama or occasional drama. If you speak Dr. Paul you will probably know the first thing I will tell you is to get clear about what you control and what you don’t. You probably don’t control their drama. You do control how you react to their drama. That gives you the first clue. Don’t react to the drama. Give it as little excitement as possible. This is because some of those who love drama want…
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Half the people studies would rather shock themselves than sit alone in their thoughts.
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Some people are surprised when they find out that I use coaches. I am a coach, and at different times in my career, I have sought out coaches and paid them a lot of money to coach me. To some this seems weird, if you are a coach, then why would you need one? Because we are multi-dimensional human beings. And I don’t claim to know everything about everything. When I started as a psychologist I thought I would see “patients” in a practice and hopefully one day maybe even own my own practice. I thought I would get referrals, see patients, diagnose them, come up with a treatment plan, and bill insurance (and I found out re-bill insurance again and again until I got paid). I am still a psychologist, but I don’t see “patients” any longer and I don’t diagnose or bill insurance. I have clients who I…
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Which is right for you? Maybe all three. We are used to making New Year’s Resolutions and for the majority of people, letting them dwindle away like the last piece of confetti falling at midnight. Now, we don’t INTEND to have that happen, but it does. If you haven’t been successful in the past, it is hard to resolve to do something now. And, some people feel overwhelmed with everything going on in their lives and don’t think they can take on another thing, even if it is something necessary. Something that would enrich and bless their lives long-term. There is a way to ease into a resolution. What if you started with a consideration. What if I consider exercising more? What would that look like? How would that happen? What would I need? A consideration is a careful thought over a period of time. Can you see how it…
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Prevent opening mouth and inserting foot with these 5 questions Problems are universal. They might look different, but we all have them. When those problems are shared, well, that’s when it happens. We give advice. It is so plain to see (from our perspective), and it is so clear what the other person should do. So we open our mouths and then… The relationship goes south. There is a way to save you the pain and agony that comes next. Be clear by asking yourself, “Was the advice requested?” If they aren’t asking for advice, they will reject it, so don’t give the advice, it’s a waste of time. They might just be venting and need to do so to become clear on what their next steps may be. If there is a clear request for advice, then ask yourself, “Am I emotionally invested in the outcome?” This makes clear…
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As a psychologist, I talk to people who are struggling with different things. One of the saddest things I have had to deal with is the aftermath of someone dying due to suicide. Last week this hit close to home with people I know and recently a YouTube Comment made me think that it might be time we address this important issue again. The viewer said her family was doing their best to have a Merry Christmas and continue on after the death of her father-in-law due to suicide. She said it was a surprise and she always thought of her father-in-law as a happy person. The aftermath of suicide leaves us with so many feelings, sadness, anger, and failure are among some of them. I told my viewer that I was glad her family was looking to the future and trying to have a Merry Christmas. Whether she knew…
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