There's a lot of obvious things that are unnoticed. That brings me to my first tip for how to stay positive and confident. It's called metacognition.
Metacognition is simply thinking about thinking.
Notice that you can do this. That's really important. Because thinking about thinking actually put you in a higher level of choice and control over your own thinking.
I've decided after all of these years in psychology that either we drive our thoughts or our thoughts drive us. Until you go to that metacognitive level, your thoughts will drive you.
Think about it.
Every time you do something, you had a thought that led you to that behavior. Is this true?
Back in psychology school, we talked about the cognitive triad. What you think, what you feel, what you do. Those three things are so interrelated that they all affect and cause each other. What you think is so powerful and it's going to drive your behavior and your feelings.
You are never wrong about how you feel. How you feel is 100% consistent with the way your mind is working.
Let's go to tip number 2. While we are in this metacognitive state, while we are thinking about our thinking, I invite you to be fully present. Now present has at least three meanings in the English language. It means here. Present! When the teacher calls roll back in school, you say, “Present!” It means I'm here in this place. Present means now in this time as opposed to past or future.
Present, it also means gift. Because if you give someone a present, you just gave them a gift. And I think it's a gift to ourselves and everyone around us to be fully present, to be here, to be now and to have that be a gift.
Here's an example.
A lot of times when we have menial tasks to do, the dishes for example. Our mind doesn't want to be here or now, it wants to be somewhere else and so it wanders off. We've got psychological studies that prove when our focus gets out of the now and it gets off into the past, things that have already happened or what we've done or what we feel guilty or shameful about, that's all focused in the past. When our mind gets distracted into the future we worry about what's going to happen, and you don’t know what will happen. But notice when your mind goes there, it creates anxiety, fear, worry. Those kinds of emotions are in the future, not now.
Right now, we're good. Think about it, do you have enough right now? Do you have enough air? Do you have enough money?
Now, that's an interesting one. Because one of my clients recently said, “No, I don't have enough money.” Really? You don't have enough money for right now? For this moment? Notice in this moment, you don't even need money, do you? You've got enough. And that's always true. We can have a whole conversation about that. Stay in the now. If you want to be positive and confident, do it now.
Tip number 3 has to do with one of the processes that's going on in your own mind. You can't turn it off, it's always on. Evaluation. Evaluation is judgment. It's where you judge yourself, your circumstances, your relationships, your work, everything in your life gets run through an evaluation process. You can't turn it off.
What if you were to practice positive evaluation of what it is? No matter what it is. Now this is hard when what it is, is painful or difficult or frustrating. That stuff happens all the time for you, doesn't it? Yeah, me too. Welcome to earth. The fact that it's painful doesn't mean that it's bad.
Now, I can say that with a high degree of confidence because of my own experience and all the experience I've had with my clients. But check this out. When it's painful, we tend to evaluate it as being bad. You don't know that it's bad. You just know that it's painful.
I remember this old story about a rancher in Wyoming who had a beautiful horse. And everybody from miles around came around and they said, “Oh, what a nice horse. This is awesome.” And he said, “How do you know that's good?” Weird answer, right?
Well one day, that horse ran off. Now his friends and neighbors came around. “Oh, we heard that your horse ran away. That's bad.” “How do you know that's bad?” he said. Weird answer. This is how this guy rolls.
Well, a couple of days later, that horse returned, came home with another wild horse he had apparently made friends with. Now everybody said, “This is awesome.” His response? “How do you know that's good?”
Well, the wild horse must be trained or broken before it can be used on his ranch and so he sent his son out there to tame the horse. The son gets bucked off of this horse, hits the fence on his way to the ground, breaks his leg in 2 places. All those friends and neighbors, “Oh, this is bad.” The rancher's response, “How do you know this is bad?”
By now, they're thinking, “This guy needs some help.” But then the army recruiter comes to town and takes all the 18-year old kids off to war, except the rancher's son, whose leg is broken. And that's good, or is it?
I don't know. It just is what it is. A broken leg. Now, that's bad, right? No, it's painful. Can we agree that it's painful? Is it bad? I don't know. It kept him out of the war and that's good. Or is it? I don't know.
Positive evaluation means that you choose to see what it is as good. You go there with gratitude. Gratitude is a powerful emotion that sets us up for the next tip.
Practice positive creation. What's coming, what is to be, doesn't exist yet. We haven't created it yet, and you don't know what's coming.
When you get worried and anxious and upset, you think you know. You've got some predictions but you don't know.
Realizing that, what if you were to anticipate or expect or predict that what's coming for you is even better than what you've already got.
How would you feel?
You want to be more positive and confident, start expecting positive things to come in your life. And a little disclaimer here, you don't know what's coming. But you've got something to do with it because you're a powerful creator. And what you imagine is what you are most likely to create. So, get clear about that.
What do you intend to bring about in your life? You are a creator and you can't turn that off any more than you can turn off your evaluation and judgment of what it is. Let's get focused on creating upgrades and then we get to feel hope.
One final tip for you and then I've got that little special surprise. Practice. It's going to take some repetition. You have got to put in the reps if you want to gain the skill set. Here's the thing you are most likely to continue thinking whatever you've practiced thinking up until now.
It doesn't mean that you're right. And if you get trapped in those feelings of depression or anxiety or worry or fear, it's because of what you are thinking. You are never wrong about what you feel. Your thoughts are probably what's generating those feelings. Are you connecting with that? So, to practice something new, it's not going to feel normal at first.
For example, when something painful happens. For you to say, “Oh, this is good.” See how weird that seems?
I knew I was getting good at this when I sprained my ankle and as I'm writhing in pain on the floor. I hear myself say, “This is perfect for me.” I know. Crazy, right? The title of my book is Pathological Positivity.
The word pathological in psychology means crazy. But it also means determined. Like compulsively driven toward something. It's a dogged determination to stay positive no matter what. It takes practice.
Perhaps you've pondered that possibly, a program or a process could predictably propel people to unprecedented personal power, productivity, profit, prosperity.
That's pathological positivity.
Now, perhaps you picked up on this point that our planet is plagued with a pandemic of poisonous pessimism. The popular perception of painful or perturbing problems is pathogenically paralyzing.
The predominant population places pessimism on a pedestal. Pathological Positivity programs and positions people to perceive positive possibilities and painful problems.
It inspires and provokes people to apply positive principles and practices even in paralyzing predicaments. Now, pathological positivity is not just a program or a fluffy philosophy. And that's spelled with a ph if you're taking notes.
It's a personal preference. A programmed and practiced proclivity to purposefully opt for the positive from a plethora of possible perceptions.
This promotes powerful, personal and professional prosperity. Pernicious, pandemic, poisonous, pestilent, pessimism is pummeled into powder.
As professionals, parents all people, permit apply promote and popularize pathologically positive paradigms. The payoff is powerful, personal prosperity.
Okay, perhaps that was a bit preposterous.
I hope you enjoyed that alliteration and there is a powerful meaning to it as well. Positivity saves lives. Are you ready to power up your own positivity? I've got a new program just for you. It's called the Positivity Power-Up. Visit positivitypowerup.com, or schedule a time to talk to one of our coaches and find out what we offer by scheduling a call at www.breakthroughcall.com.