You know the type.
The person who constantly has drama in their life.
They can’t SEEM to get away from it.
Things are always happening and it is never their fault.
Some people are just wired to feel things more than others, the highs and the lows. They are more excitable and therefore drama seems to follow them around.
The drama king or queen in your life can fall anywhere on the spectrum – extreme drama or occasional drama.
If you speak Dr. Paul you will probably know the first thing I will tell you is to get clear about what you control and what you don’t.
You probably don’t control their drama. You do control how you react to their drama.
That gives you the first clue.
- Don’t react to the drama. Give it as little excitement as possible.
This is because some of those who love drama want the attention and when they don’t get it, they are less likely to involve you in what is playing out. They will go to the next person who is going to act shocked, indignant or feel sorry for their plight.
The second clue is in how the drama occurred. A lot of drama is based in gossip. If the drama king or queen can’t get you to participate in the gossip, then where is the fun? There should be your second clue.
- Be a fun-sucker. Don’t gossip about others or listen to gossip about others.
Even if you say, I am only listening, well, that doesn’t last long. You will find yourself getting sucked in. Then you will be on the lookout for who you can spread the gossip to and you have become the drama queen.
Sometimes people develop drama in their lives because there are other things that need their attention. They create the drama so they don’t have to deal with something that could be emotionally painful or just plain hard. It is a diversion and leads us to our last suggestion.
- Don’t tell a drama king or queen what to do.
They want the drama and will go against what you said or blame you if something doesn’t work out the way they thought it should. You will never win. Drama kings and queens don’t believe in win-win situations. Share the spotlight? Never.
They need to win – at all costs.
W A R N I N G
These suggestions come with a warning. If you put these into play, the drama king or queen may unfriend you. They have to go to those who will give them the attention and reaction they desire.
Drama is draining. Drama burns people out and is why drama kings and queens tend to not have long-term relationships.
They burn and churn.
How much bandwidth do you have to give to this relationship?
You decide.
Dr. Paul
Look for our next post, “What to do if YOU are the drama king or queen.”