Relationships

Apr 30

Self-Destructive Behaviors in Relationships

By Cyndi Baker M-Power

We enter relationships with the best of intentions. It doesn’t matter if it is a work, social, or even a romantic relationship. Our behaviors can be productive or not helpful. A Pathologically Positive person wants to make the most of all their relationships so let’s examine a pattern of negative behaviors that will cause any relationship to implode so we know what not to do. How does self-destruction happen in a relationship? We can boil it down to four words: Criticism, Negativity, Selfishness and Disrespect. Criticism doesn’t even have to be real or intended, as long as it is felt, it works to damage our relationships. Negativity is tied to criticism. Negativity is manifested by complaining and complaining is focused on yourself, not the other person, which leads us to our next step, selfishness. Selfishness is when we turn all our attention inward. We are concerned with how we feel…

Dec 18

Love0

If Only I had Spent More Time at the Office

Work and Life Balance

By DrPaul M-Power

This might be a misnomer – can we ever really balance it? Maybe the goal here is to be clear about priorities. Do you want to have everything balanced, or do you want to spend most of your time where it matters most at the right times? One way to prioritize your time, efforts, and resources is to focus on five key relationships. Here’s how it stacks up: Your Creator – I’m not your spiritual leader, but I acknowledge here that we all have to come to terms with our source. Your Self – Most people forget that this is actually a relationship, and thereby neglect one of the most important ones. Your Family – And within family there is a lineup as well: Spouse Children Extended Other People – Including clients, coworkers, customers, starving children in Africa. Things – Including money and property In my experience, keeping these key…

Nov 29

Love0

Upgrade Your Relationship

By DrPaul M-Power

A couple in my office recently heard me say, “You need a new marriage.” She looked at me with surprise in her face, they were paying me to help them save their marriage, not to tell them they need a new one. “Keep your spouse, ” I responded, “and get a new marriage.” Better is always different – by definition. That isn’t always true the other way around, and that’s why different can seem scary. If we truly want an upgrade, it depends on our willingness to change. The good news is… You can upgrade your relationship today, right now, without materially changing anything about your spouse or situation. Try this: Find gratitude in where you are right now without changing anything. Notice the good and focus on it. This doesn’t make the bad go away, what it does is changes your position. Through gratitude for what it is, you…

Jul 29

Love0

Maybe It’s The Love

By DrPaul M-Power

David and Brenda have scheduled an appointment for some Pathologically Positive coaching. They are trying to save their twenty five year marriage. As is the case with far too many long-term couples, they are on the brink of divorce. There’s no real problem – and that is the problem. Brenda explains that she just doesn’t love David any more. She is pretty sure that he doesn’t love her either. David counters by telling me (not Brenda), “That’s silly. Of course I love her. She knows I love her.” Apparently, David is dead wrong about her knowing. Consider the oft’ told story of an elderly couple driving along together in their old Dodge pickup to the country store. Early in their marriage, this weekly trip was an anticipated outing where they would chat happily about the kids, the farm, a new calf. Now, in their later years, it has become a…

Mar 29

Love0

Surrounded By Greatness

By DrPaul M-Power

I have a confession to make. I’m the lone ranger! I have recently realized that I often forge ahead in life thinking that I have to do it all myself. What a relief it is to see the greatness and gifts of those who surround me. The resources to solve whatever problem or challenge you face right now are present all around you right now. Open your eyes and start seeing people. Draw on your human treasury, and you will find that the balance in that account actually increases the more you use it. If I have seen further, it is only by standing on the shoulders of giants. three credit bureaus equifax – Sir Isaac Newton

Oct 15

Love0

Real or Stuffed

By DrPaul M-Power

As a youth I was fascinated with the art of taxidermy. A few days ago I was visiting a neighbor who was showing me two huge fish that he had caught which were now stuffed and mounted on his wall. I found myself thinking, “Wow, those look real!” The appearance of a live fish was what the taxidermist was going for, although it was mostly just stuffing. Sometimes we call our material belongings “stuff”. Real people have deep and meaningful relationships. If we get too attached to possessions, perhaps we too have become “stuff”ed. Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have. – Doris Mortman

Apr 15

Love0

Those Who Matter Most

By DrPaul M-Power

You spend all of your time every day. No matter how much you try to “save” time, you can’t – it just keeps moving along. The variable you control is how you spend your time. The demands of your life will consume any time you don’t intentionally spend. A friend of mine supplied today’s quote in a song he wrote. Enjoy this one-minute video for today’s laugh, then choose to spend your time today where it matters most! Are you giving the least to those who matter most? – Michael McLean [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_Ipvm-AEy8]

Mar 19

Love0

Five Key Relationships

By DrPaul M-Power

I’ve been thinking a lot about our key relationships as I prepare for our couples retreat this weekend. Obviously we are emphasizing the relationship with a spouse for this event, but there are five key relationships in our life – they are: Your Relationship With Your Creator Your Relationship With Yourself Your Relationship With Your Family Spouse Children Extended Family Your Relationship With Other People Your Relationship With Things I have found that the happiest people I know have these relationships prioritized and in this order. Getting them out of order tends to throw things out of whack. Get them lined up and start realizing the happiness you were meant to enjoy.

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