Do You Have to Yell to Get Your Kids to Listen? I had a client ask me one day, “Dr. Paul, why do my kids wait until the twelfth time I’ve asked them and I’m upset and angry before they’ll do something?” The answer was the kids have trained dad to yell before they respond AND dad has trained the kids to ignore him until the twelfth time he asks and resorts to yelling. Notice, it goes both directions. This is important as we manage the dynamic of how to encourage our kids to listen to us without yelling. From a behavioral psychology standpoint, yelling is a trap because it is not a punishment, it is a reinforcer. Understand the difference between a reinforcer and a punishment. A punishment decreases a behavior, a reinforcer increases the behavior. Yelling is a reinforcer, not a punishment. Kids ALWAYS have choices. They choose to…