Recently my daughter, Lyndi, published an article called, Seeing People Deeply: How to Be More Present in Your Relationships. She gave three really good ideas on how to do this and I wanted to share them with you. You can read the full article HERE.
She starts the article talking about the deep need that we humans have for connection and the emotional and physical upset that can be caused when we don’t get that connection.
Remember, the only person we can control is ourselves so if your needs aren’t being met, make sure you are modeling the behaviors to others so they can see what it is you need.
Step 1 OVERCOMING PARTIAL ATTENTION
In today’s world of constant information overload, everyone knows what this is. You are talking to your partner and PING. There is a notification from your phone. Where does your attention go?
And your partner just figured out they aren’t the center of your attention any longer.
Step 2 PRACTICE EMPATHY
Lyndi gives a great definition of empathy and discusses how it is different from sympathy. Basically, it requires feeling the emotion of the other person, more than your own.
It means being willing to sit with them in their time of need and not bulldozing them with solutions.
It means doing what you need to to make sure they understand they have been heard.
It means offering assistance, but not telling them what to do.
Step 3 CARE MORE ABOUT BEING INTERESTED THAN BEING INTERESTING
There is a shift of focus from you to them. Are you thinking about how you are being perceived by the other person or are you focusing on the person you are interacting with?
Lyndi says, “… when you let go of self-evaluative tendencies and instead invest that energy into being fully present and focused on the person you are with, a genuine warmth and authenticity takes over.”
That is when true, deep connection happens.
It is exhilarating and worth every effort.
Well-done Lyndi.
Dr. Paul (Dad)
