There is a saying in AA: Expectations are Premeditated Resentments. If you have feelings of resentment, you can almost always look back and find unrealized expectations that led to the resentment. Being frustrated and resentful inhibits our ability to think logically and clearly. It pushes us to a place where we say things like: “This isn’t fair.” “This isn’t what I wanted.” You may be 100% right – and that won’t change your feelings. What will help is looking back and recognizing how your expectations got you to where you are. What I find (especially when working with couples), is that the expectations were never clearly shared with their partner so there could be some discussion and agreement. If that isn’t a plan for failure, I don’t know what is. There are lots of expectations this time of year. Gifts Vacations Relationships Events Behavior Time Share your expectations with others.